What’s Your Lesson Today?

“This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness. Some momentary awareness comes, as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture. Still, treat each guest honourably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond” Rumi

Found this beautiful and timely passage when I was looking through my library of inspirational quotes. Most of us are going through a roller-coaster of emotions and this text says it all. As always, we aren’t in control of the circumstances around us. But we are in control of our responses to each circumstance.

Next time you’re caught in the thick of it, ask yourself:

“What is happening here? What is ‘this’ trying to teach me?” Take yourself away from your environment. Concentrate on your breath. Mindful breathing calms the nervous system. You’ll be surprised at how much more resourceful you are at dealing with the situation at hand.

It’s so important to honour every emotion, but not let them take control. Being able to recognise and label the emotion is key to how it can be reframed

It’s vital to teach our kids a healthy mental resilience and be the examples they’d want to lead. Discussing our thoughts and our feelings openly will give them permission to recognise and acknowledge their own emotions.

I’ve been working with a number of school aged children, supporting them with their challenges. Reach out if you’d like a chat please.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

This Too Shall Pass

“This Too Shall Pass”

I heard this from a dear friend of mine some years ago when I was really struggling to make sense of my story and I must admit, it’s been one of my go to phrases when situations have started to cause overwhelm.

When the going gets tough, there’s one important point to appreciate. That although what we’re experiencing at that moment is particularly unknown and tough to digest, that it’s our thoughts about the situation that keep us stuck in a negative state.

And as valid as those thoughts and emotions are at that particular moment in time, we are able to choose our response to the situation. A simple statement like “this too shall pass” will remind us that the difficulty we’re experiencing is temporary. It will divert our unconscious mind in a future positive direction.

I’m curious to find out how you’re feeling today? How are you finding the positives in the somewhat alien world we find ourselves in?

Remember, we’re not in control of this situation, but we are in control of the way we respond to it. We still have a choice! That liberty hasn’t been removed from us.

We’re in control of the meaning we give to our thoughts and feelings. It’s kind to honour the feelings we have, but it’s pointless to get lost in the vicious circle of negative thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

I too, have struggled with the real threats out there, but I’ve fallen in the more optimistic camp. Perhaps because of my NLP training and the ability to look at the threats with a different perspective. Or perhaps the war child in me tells me “this too, shall pass”.

To keep my sanity, I’m choosing to be acutely aware of simple pleasures in life, all the things I took for granted previously. I’m choosing to stay even more connected in times of social and physical distancing. I’m choosing to invest in my personal development.

How are you keeping your sanity? Reach out when you need a chat.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

What’s Your Story?

“Step aside from all thinking, and there is nowhere you can’t go.” Seng-ts’an

So, I’m saying a cheerful Hi to my wonderful and diverse network at a time we’re being challenged in ways we’ve never known before!

At the time of writing this blog, we’re faced with a global pandemic and by now, have had at least two weeks of “trying” to make sense of our new reality, but are we there yet?

In an attempt to stay connected when we’re having to socially distance from each other, I’m starting a new vlog series. Something that I’m not hugely comfortable with, but to grow, one needs to step outside one’s comfort zone, right? 😉

Also, I’m being driven by a bigger purpose of providing a safe space for my audience to voice their fears and concerns. To stay connected and optimistic. My purpose in producing this vlog is to give you a chance to voice “your story” regardless of the camp you fall into and see how you wish to be supported.

This post is inspired by one of my favourite authors, Brene Brown. When she’s in conflict with her husband, she starts her dialogue by “my story is…”

This allows her the opportunity to be open and honest about how her thoughts are creating certain feelings about a particular situation, and how she’s narrating “her story”. She’ll often find that her husband has given a different meaning to the course of events, and therefore “his story” is different.

Proof that we interpret the same situation differently, according to our preferences, our installed filters and previous experiences which have shaped us as we are. By respectfully listening to each other’s stories, we feel seen, heard and understood. In that safe environment, we get a sense of connection, acceptance and belonging. We get to strategise and think of solutions to our problems.

So, what’s your story? Are you panic stricken, slightly anxious, heavy hearted, fear the unknown, bored because you’ve been furloughed and feel lost, or have you made peace with your new reality and are getting on with it? Or something entirely different? There are no right or wrong answers by the way. How you’re feeling at the moment is very real to you and you deserve to be believed.

Are you half full or half empty? What are your thoughts and what are the emotions and stories you’re attaching to those thought? What’s your story? Let’s talk and make sense of this madness together…

Love and strong coffee
Vafa