The Power Of Regret
What’s your relationship with the word ‘regret’?
I’ve been enjoying reading and reflecting on Dan Pink’s new book ‘The Power of Regret’ in the last week. The title had me intrigued and as I’d enjoyed books by Dan Pink previously, I delved in whilst wondering if I would put the words ‘power’ and ‘regret’ in the same sentence…
Don’t get me wrong! There are PLENTY of ‘things’ I would have loved to do differently, (notice how I can’t bring myself to use the ‘R’ word) but hindsight is… well exactly that! Hindsight!
And although I look back often, I don’t view my mistakes as regrets, but instead, look at them in terms of lessons learned.
I suspect it’s because the word ‘regret’ has always held a negative connotation for me. ‘My story’ is that without having made ‘those’ mistakes, I wouldn’t be who I am and neither would I be here, and I clearly love being ‘here’, having created my current reality that was once a dream!
Dan put ‘regrets’ in four different categories, one of which is ‘boldness’ regrets. He writes, boldness regrets are often about exploration. According to the responses he had to the surveys he conducted, some of the most significant explorations are ‘inward’.
He asserts furthermore, that AUTHENTICITY requires BOLDNESS and when authenticity is supported, so is GROWTH.
The most telling demonstration of this point came from several dozen people from all over the world who described their regret, their failure to be bold, with the same five words…
“NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF” he writes!
I found it most interesting to read that people who asserted their identity, rarely regretted it EVEN when those identities went counter to the dominant culture! People who suppressed their identity talked about denying themselves of the potential to live fully…
This body of work is so close to my heart and a huge part of the work I do with individuals and seminar participants.
Raising your awareness of your values and identity creates the desire to live a more authentic life where you are motivated to create a new forward direction in reaching your outcomes. This is a point that’s raised by almost every participant to my ‘VIP’ Seminar.
Without motivation and clarity of direction, one is likely to go round and round the same circle, ‘wishing’ life was different instead of ‘knowing’ what the next steps are. Does that resonate with you?
One big takeaway from this book was that…
PEOPLE HAVE MORE REGRETS ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO THAN THE THINGS THEY DID DO!
Reading this book has changed my relationship with the word regret. It’s also reiterated the power of having the boldness, the courage to stand for who we are and what we love doing and perusing it unapologetically. EVEN when it’s counter to the dominant culture and environment we exist within. Afterall, we’re more likely to regret the actions we didn’t take, than the ones we did!
If you would like to explore your values, your Identity and your Purpose so you live a more fulfilled life, get in touch with me. The next VIP seminar is on Saturday, April 2nd and it’s almost at full capacity.
You only get one life. You so deserve to get the life you wish for.
Love & Strong Coffee
Vafa