Get The Life You Wish For

“Get The Life You Wish For”… I so often heard the voice inside my head say this phrase. Especially when I came face to face with situations that put me at a cross roads where my values were being tested. Then I came across this passage from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek. Own the fear, find the cave and write a new inning for yourself. For the people you’re meant to serve and support and for your culture. Choose courage over comfort, choose whole hearts over armour and choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid at the exact same time.”

If you’re looking for what’s missing in your life or in need of new direction, if you’re defined by the measures of success that someone else has imposed on you or if you’re feeling guilty for wanting more, then please know you’re one of many who think and feel this way.

What are you doing to get the life you wish for?

I was reflecting on the time I used to wish for a better life during a graduation ceremony with a difference and congratulated myself for stepping inside the cave even though it was scary, unknown and uncomfortable.

For choosing whole hearts instead of armour, even though it deprived me from aspects of my old, secure world; and for choosing courage over comfort which scares me and makes me feel very alive every day!

Are you feeling stuck or are you living a life that makes you feel alive?

We only get one life; let’s live it on our terms

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Have You Found Your Tribe?

“Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to, but tell it. Some won’t understand it. Some will outright reject it, but many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one, voices will start whispering, ‘Me, too’! And your tribe will gather and you will never feel alone again”. L.R. Knost

My story today, on Monday June 1st is that I did the first school run in 10 weeks as mini me decided to return to school.

Also, I felt judged today, but decided not to let it in! And instead, I’m sharing my thoughts and seeking yours.

I don’t profess to be social media savvy; in fact, in truth, I didn’t particularly have a huge digital footprint because I had led quite a private life online till before lockdown.

Networking for me, was about meeting and getting to know people on a deep human level, and deciding who was to be a part of “my tribe”. That’s how I found my clients, my favourite networkers and even friends.

With lockdown, I had to think outside the box and started talking about my passion and purpose, storytelling and connecting on video. It was an experiment, but one I’m happy I conducted. Because as mini me says, “practice makes permanent, not perfect; because there’s no such thing as perfect!”

And I found my online tribe. I’m not polished, but I speak from the heart.

I’m curious, have you found your tribe? Do you put more value on how professional a vlog is or on the content it delivers?

Let me know your thoughts…

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

How Do You Colour?

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

Albert Einstein

When was the last time you coloured outside the lines? I mean, when was the last time you pushed outside of your comfortable boundaries?

I’ve been colouring outside the lines for a number of years now. It all started when I began to challenge my beliefs and values that were deeply ingrained.

And when lockdown was imposed, I wanted to stay connected with my network. So I decided to become visible on social media and started doing videos. Something I had shied away from, partly because of my limiting beliefs of not being able to do a good enough job!

Not only I’ve grown used to sharing my views on video, I’ve been able to help many people who contacted me. I’ve also been invited on fb and IG lives to share insights. So, I’d say that I’ve fulfilled my purpose of providing a safe space for my audience to talk and make sense of their stories. It just goes to show that good stuff happen when you step outside your comfort zone.

I often challenge my clients on their limiting beliefs by asking them to “imagine” how they would be if they were less afraid? It’s only by exploring different experiences that we build new habits. Who knows what great opportunities you may stumble upon if you chose to be different!

So I’m curious; how are you building new habits during these times?

What have you done differently that you couldn’t imagine doing before lockdown, and how have you felt about your new experiences?

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

“Life Is An Evolution”

“Life is an evolution, isn’t it mum” asked mini me on one of those bygone days when we used to travel to school.

Yes. Life is indeed an evolution. We are the product of the environments we grew up in. The people we grew up with. The beliefs and values we adopted. The sense of connection and belonging we felt and still feel at every step of the way.

Every new experience and interaction helps shape our reality and the lens we see the world through. For some people, evolution is a slow process.

For some of us however, certain circumstances arise in our life at the most unexpected time. They force us to re-evaluate our lives.

Mine came when I suffered with burnout when I was juggling far too many balls in the air at the same time. The overwhelm I felt paralysed my logical left thinking brain I so faithfully relied upon until then.

I clearly remember articulating this as “my amygdala having hijacked my brain” to a friend. I had averaged 3 hours of sleep each night for the previous 5 months and I was simply incapable of making even the simplest of decisions.

That’s when I was forced to take time out and rethink the path I wanted to travel on. As difficult as it was to go through that period, it was a blessing in disguise. It may have seemed like a huge “failure” to have lost the ability to be the old resilient me and keep on ploughing forward regardless. But it afforded me a great opportunity to get to know myself. To allow myself to get vulnerable and share “my story”. That’s when I discovered that I wasn’t the only one who felt like that.

That’s when the real transformation began for me. To allow myself to believe my own truth. To start the process of change which wasn’t a walk in the park, but so worth the pain and the discomfort.

Perhaps the period of discomfort we’re experiencing now is also a blessing in disguise. Not that many would recognise it as that YET!

You see, with change comes growth if you allow the vulnerability out of the box. And with growth, transformation into an individual who lives a fulfilled life. A life that’s congruent with one’s core values. I’m not suggesting it will be a fairytale “happily ever after” life, but a life on your terms.

It’s only then that you feel a certain amount of peace and gratitude you didn’t know existed when you lived your old life. And hence, a newfound resilience and resolve which helps you deal with the unhappy times with a different kind of mindset.

And this is what I take my beautiful coachees through. I encourage them to find themselves and what makes them tick. What’s truly important to them. Their truths, and how to reach for them unapologetically. They learn to evaluate how they communicate their desires to their community.

The realise what they’ve been tolerating. The learn how to embrace and emanate their values in every communication they conduct. I give them the tools to become attractive to themselves first and foremost, and to the people they cross paths with.

Trying to master the unknown we have faced for the last few weeks is yet another unexpected event where many of us have been forced to think and act differently from the time of life we called “normal”.

Isn’t this a brilliant time to redefine that “normal” as you knew it. Why not make it what you want it to be? To examine who you are, what you stand for and what you’ve tolerated unquestioningly during the time of life you used to call “normal”.

At this time of national lockdown and media frenzy, various stimuli are embedded in our subconscious on daily basis. Be it the stories we tell ourselves or the propaganda and the scaremongering the media portray.

Why not take a conscious effort to be different? This is the perfect opportunity to switch the negativity off and put your creative, big blue sky thinking hats on and look at life differently.

Let’s admit it… Many of us haven’t had time to get creative since we were kids; some of us had even forgotten what it was like to be creative till isolation happened.

Many people have lost their vocation, but admit openly how proud and fulfilled (as described by their social media feed) they feel in their new roles as healthcare assistants, supermarket employees and delivery ninjas.

Some business owners have had to think differently and take their businesses online. Families have had to get creative with budgeting as they’ve faced financial challenges. Look how many different recipes of bread are going around and the vast population who have attempted to make bread on fancy skillets to keep busy and sane.

I bet there have been many moments of laughter and pure joy as families have succeeded in making bread that’s half edible. Who had time to bake bread pre CV19? That’s such a great example of getting creative and living differently by many.

If I was to encourage you to see this period as an opportunity to grow into a better version of you, what would you say?

Would it be a good time to evolve and reinvent yourself, even a little bit?

Why not make a list of all the things you’ve been tolerating in your pre CV19 life as a first step? Look for what you could eliminate from your new life? Don’t forget to involve your loved ones and take them on this wonderful journey with you, so you can grow as a family and thrive together.

And please get in touch if you’d like any further exercises in the quest to start your wonderful and exciting personal revolution journey.

Stay connected and stay safe.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Have You Defined Your Boundaries?

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal and necessary” D Virtue

Defining your boundaries is about loving and respecting yourself enough to take care of yourself.

Having been a “yes” and a giving person most of my life, setting the right boundaries haven’t come easy to me. So I’d love to hear from you and how effective you are at setting yours.

Are you amongst the people who are having to work from home? Are you having to homeschool your children? Are you finding yourself in close and constant proximity to your spouse or life partner?

Like me, have you found your boundaries blurred in the last two weeks or so?

Where have you drawn the line between being a parent, a partner, a teacher and a professional working from home? How have you felt if you’ve had to excuse yourself and attend to the needs of your children if you’ve been in the middle of a team or client meeting?

How have you defined your boundaries with respect to the space you’ve co-existed within? I hear the despair in clients’ and friends’ conversations because they haven’t had time to reflect on their working day on their commute home. Some are missing that time to “down-tools” and process the working day they’ve had.

They haven’t had the time to switch the world off, listen to the music or book of their choice or call a friend before getting home and stepping into the shoes of a parent and partner.

Have you been kind enough to yourself to find your mute button when you’ve been saturated with wearing different hats in the same space? If so, how? What’s your self care routine these days?

Love and strong coffee

Vafa