Zigzag Trail Of Life

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Joseph Campbell

I came across this zigzag trail of beautifully hand painted stones on my walk earlier today. It depicted the path I’ve travelled on for the last few years. When I decided to throw myself into being an explorer whole-heartedly, I didn’t realise how many zigzags I’d face!

There were times when I faced so many obstacles that all I wanted to do was to hibernate like my favourite creatures, the hedgehogs. But that wasn’t an option. I had stepped beyond the point of no return and there was no looking back. And I soon learned that the more challenges I took on, the easier the decision to take more challenges became. It was as if I was building a new muscle I didn’t know I had!

Every time I faced another puzzle on my zigzag trail and decided to tackle it like my life depended on it, I found a hidden strength or a forgotten resource I hadn’t thought of before. Very often, a new mentor appeared on my path; literally from nowhere!

I persevered until I found my new path. My current reality. A reality that’s aligned with who I am, what I stand for and what I won’t tolerate. A reality that’s congruent to my core values.

And I found myself being the mentor for a younger version of me today. Someone who described what he was experiencing, and he took me back a few years. He showed vulnerability in sharing his story and found someone who’d been there. Exactly what I did back when I became an explorer. Who knows who this young man will inspire and mentor a few years down the line?

When the status quo isn’t leaving you fulfilled, what do you do?

When the call to adventure comes, you have two options:

💥You either choose courage and follow that call. When you do, you will connect with who you really are and what you stand for. You will sense a kind of ease and freedom in living your everyday life. You will become a better version of yourself and become more attractive inside and out.

💥Or you choose comfort and conformity and numb the pain by finding distractions in the form of work, food, alcohol and material possessions. You can be sure that you’re doing exactly as others want you to, and that you’re pleasing everyone else, but yourself.

If you choose courage, be warned! The path to finding fulfilment is not a straight one!

Finding this path isn’t for the faint hearted! Only enter if you’re willing to:

become an explorer
have your deep-rooted beliefs challenged
step outside your comfort zone
let go of certainty
trust your intuition
get out of your head and reconnect with your body
have the courage to let go of your perceived security which in-fact is keeping you stuck!
And most importantly…. Enter this path only if you trust yourself and are willing to trust the process…

If you’re wondering about the process, reach out and I’ll explain.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa x

You’re Never Too Old To Dream

“If you can dream it, you can do it.” Walt Disney

I Found this beautiful stone amongst hundreds laid out on my walk today and I thought of the e-mail I received from a client recently.

“Thank you for helping me give myself permission to dream again” he wrote.

The email gave me a warm fuzzy feeling on one level! It reiterated the reasons I love doing what I do.

It also saddened me… At exactly what point in our life, do we remove the permission for ourselves to dream?

Have you ever considered how much of a more free and fulfilled life you would lead if you believed in your dreams and took steps towards fulfilling them?

What sort of a message are you sending your children when you tolerate a mediocre existence and regularly sacrifice on who you want to be and how you’d like to live?

Yes; trust me… they know how you show up! They’re more perceptive than you give them credit for!

Please remember, you’re never too old to dream new dreams…

Just imagine… What would it mean to you to live the life of your dreams?

Curious to explore this further?

Call me if you like my style, and if not, there are plenty more coaches out there whom you may like better.

But please invest time in yourself and pursue your dreams. Because when you do, it’s a different kinda life you’ll be leading. You only get one life and it so deserves to be lived well

Love and strong coffee

Vafa x

Trust The Magic Of Beginnings

“And suddenly you know: It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” Meister Eckhart

I shared this post on our Mind Superheroes facebook page yesterday.

I was delighted to receive quite a few private messages. A few friends and associates texted to say how the post inspired them to start new projects!

It was the first proper day back to work for me yesterday. I had a few scheduled calls with clients and my business community.

In every conversation, I sensed ‘HOPE’ for a new beginning. The new year does that to us. We get a new lease of life! We get a chance to start over and become WHO WE WANT TO BE.

Although it was the first day of homeschooling for children in England. There was intent in making this year a brilliant one by their parents. I love the community I’m a part of. No matter how tough times get, we still remain optimistic. We look for what we have and what is in our power to do to thrive. We support and champion each other.

This is the beauty of surrounding ourselves with people who inspire us, not those who drain us.

One thing if for sure…

It’s been tough for most of us to have had some of our liberties removed by the events of the recent months. But our freedom will never be stripped away from us without our consent. We

are still in charge of our lives in how we respond to each event.
have full control over our thoughts and therefore our actions.
can choose our spoken words carefully. Because we know they have a direct effect on how we will feel and how we strive for results.

As always, investing in our physical and emotional well-being is key to keeping a positive mental health. Whatever that looks for you.

For me, that will include:

Staying connected with my optimistic community.
Sharing laughs, cuddles, kindness and loving gestures with mini me and the rest of the family on video calls.
Journaling the small, steady actions I’m getting to the habit of owning.
Taking my daily walks even more so, when it looks miserable out there and I don’t feel like doing it.
Listening to music to lift my mood and mummy dancing around the kitchen
Keeping hydrated.
Having a healthy diet with a sprinkling of cake to keep me sweet
And what never fails me! Read, listen and invest in personal development

NOW is a brilliant time to trust the magic of new beginnings

Take stock of what you’ve achieved in the last year and be sure to celebrate your wins.
IMAGINE where you would like to be in life and work at the end of 2021.
WRITE a letter to your future self and take yourself through that journey.
MAKE building small, consistent habits your new norm.

You’d be surprised at the magic that’ll unfold at the end of the year.

What are your plans for the upcoming year? It is your birthright to create a life of your choosing.

Reach out if you’re feeling a little wobbly and need listening ears.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa x

Get The Life You Wish For

“Get The Life You Wish For”… I so often heard the voice inside my head say this phrase. Especially when I came face to face with situations that put me at a cross roads where my values were being tested. Then I came across this passage from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek. Own the fear, find the cave and write a new inning for yourself. For the people you’re meant to serve and support and for your culture. Choose courage over comfort, choose whole hearts over armour and choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid at the exact same time.”

If you’re looking for what’s missing in your life or in need of new direction, if you’re defined by the measures of success that someone else has imposed on you or if you’re feeling guilty for wanting more, then please know you’re one of many who think and feel this way.

What are you doing to get the life you wish for?

I was reflecting on the time I used to wish for a better life during a graduation ceremony with a difference and congratulated myself for stepping inside the cave even though it was scary, unknown and uncomfortable.

For choosing whole hearts instead of armour, even though it deprived me from aspects of my old, secure world; and for choosing courage over comfort which scares me and makes me feel very alive every day!

Are you feeling stuck or are you living a life that makes you feel alive?

We only get one life; let’s live it on our terms

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Have You Found Your Tribe?

“Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to, but tell it. Some won’t understand it. Some will outright reject it, but many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one, voices will start whispering, ‘Me, too’! And your tribe will gather and you will never feel alone again”. L.R. Knost

My story today, on Monday June 1st is that I did the first school run in 10 weeks as mini me decided to return to school.

Also, I felt judged today, but decided not to let it in! And instead, I’m sharing my thoughts and seeking yours.

I don’t profess to be social media savvy; in fact, in truth, I didn’t particularly have a huge digital footprint because I had led quite a private life online till before lockdown.

Networking for me, was about meeting and getting to know people on a deep human level, and deciding who was to be a part of “my tribe”. That’s how I found my clients, my favourite networkers and even friends.

With lockdown, I had to think outside the box and started talking about my passion and purpose, storytelling and connecting on video. It was an experiment, but one I’m happy I conducted. Because as mini me says, “practice makes permanent, not perfect; because there’s no such thing as perfect!”

And I found my online tribe. I’m not polished, but I speak from the heart.

I’m curious, have you found your tribe? Do you put more value on how professional a vlog is or on the content it delivers?

Let me know your thoughts…

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity?

“Do you choose courage or conformity?” I asked myself again after another difficult conversation that left me demotivated to strive for my best. Then I remembered this passage and exhaled, attempting to calm my distressed nervous system.

“It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly” T Roosevelt

This quote has been such a driver for me. Every time I thought of choosing comfort and conformity over courage in my journey of Personal Revolution…

I chose courage over comfort though; Every – Single – Day!

You know how the other quote goes. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” And it was by sharing stories and insights with some great minds that I was inspired to push through the pain and get the life I wished for.

So now, I’m on a mission to spread the nuggets of wisdom that changed my life. I’ll be doing this by chatting to some truly inspirational people.

What’s my main purpose for starting this adventure?

To help my clients of course. They often think they’re the only ones experiencing the negative emotions and feel unfulfilled. They believe they have no other choice but to carry on as they are.

With the help of my beautiful guests, I plan to inspire you to get the courage and clarity to live life on your terms. Because I think that’s key to families and workplaces becoming happier, more connected places.

So watch out for my “Inspiring Courage” video series next week. I’m so looking forward to hearing my guests’ favourite quotes and the lessons they’ve learnt. And what the success factors were in them moving forward when they faced the same question I did time and again; “Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity?”

If you know of anyone who’d like to share their inspirational nuggets of wisdom, please drop me a line.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Getting Curious…

“Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there’s a garden. I will meet you there” Rumi

In loving memory of CH RIP 💔🖤💔

What’s one of the best pieces of advice you have ever been given?

Mine was to find my Ikigai when I was in the process of redefining my path and kept experimenting with new business ideas.

For years, I had a deep-rooted belief that all I could do for work was the profession I was trained to do. I had invested 25 years of my life in it after-all.

So I decided to become an explorer during which time I met a lot of people from different backgrounds. I became a curious student again and asked lots of good questions. I listened to the stories of many business owners at different stages of their journey. Some were start ups, and others seasoned entrepreneurs. Every single one had a viewpoint and a perspective worth listening to.

The new insights led to the doors of wonder being opened up in my mind where my logical left brain had dominated my outcomes up until that point. It was time to allow the creative right brain to get a turn in determining my future path. It was time to think differently.

I started to question my current limiting beliefs. It was like putting new colour shades on which changed the way the world appeared! I wondered what any of those people would do if they were in my shoes?

I compiled a list of strengths and the traits others valued in me. The activities I enjoyed taking part in. I wrote a list of tasks that motivated me. To take an audit of the things I would gladly do all day every day even if I wasn’t being paid was a useful first step for sure.

I was determined to find something that made my heart sing. And that’s what I now inspire and help my clients to achieve.

I present them with three questions to open the doors of wonder:

What would you do if you had all the time, money and resources in the world?
How would you choose to live if you knew you had a few months to live?
Who could you approach to seek different perspectives from?

I lost a dear friend yesterday. She championed me to the end and was an inspiration. She made everyday count because she knew the end was near. What would you do differently if you knew the end was near?

Let’s remember. You only get one life. Why not live it on your terms. How can you get the life you wish for?

Reach out and let’s have a chat

“Life Is An Evolution”

“Life is an evolution, isn’t it mum” asked mini me on one of those bygone days when we used to travel to school.

Yes. Life is indeed an evolution. We are the product of the environments we grew up in. The people we grew up with. The beliefs and values we adopted. The sense of connection and belonging we felt and still feel at every step of the way.

Every new experience and interaction helps shape our reality and the lens we see the world through. For some people, evolution is a slow process.

For some of us however, certain circumstances arise in our life at the most unexpected time. They force us to re-evaluate our lives.

Mine came when I suffered with burnout when I was juggling far too many balls in the air at the same time. The overwhelm I felt paralysed my logical left thinking brain I so faithfully relied upon until then.

I clearly remember articulating this as “my amygdala having hijacked my brain” to a friend. I had averaged 3 hours of sleep each night for the previous 5 months and I was simply incapable of making even the simplest of decisions.

That’s when I was forced to take time out and rethink the path I wanted to travel on. As difficult as it was to go through that period, it was a blessing in disguise. It may have seemed like a huge “failure” to have lost the ability to be the old resilient me and keep on ploughing forward regardless. But it afforded me a great opportunity to get to know myself. To allow myself to get vulnerable and share “my story”. That’s when I discovered that I wasn’t the only one who felt like that.

That’s when the real transformation began for me. To allow myself to believe my own truth. To start the process of change which wasn’t a walk in the park, but so worth the pain and the discomfort.

Perhaps the period of discomfort we’re experiencing now is also a blessing in disguise. Not that many would recognise it as that YET!

You see, with change comes growth if you allow the vulnerability out of the box. And with growth, transformation into an individual who lives a fulfilled life. A life that’s congruent with one’s core values. I’m not suggesting it will be a fairytale “happily ever after” life, but a life on your terms.

It’s only then that you feel a certain amount of peace and gratitude you didn’t know existed when you lived your old life. And hence, a newfound resilience and resolve which helps you deal with the unhappy times with a different kind of mindset.

And this is what I take my beautiful coachees through. I encourage them to find themselves and what makes them tick. What’s truly important to them. Their truths, and how to reach for them unapologetically. They learn to evaluate how they communicate their desires to their community.

The realise what they’ve been tolerating. The learn how to embrace and emanate their values in every communication they conduct. I give them the tools to become attractive to themselves first and foremost, and to the people they cross paths with.

Trying to master the unknown we have faced for the last few weeks is yet another unexpected event where many of us have been forced to think and act differently from the time of life we called “normal”.

Isn’t this a brilliant time to redefine that “normal” as you knew it. Why not make it what you want it to be? To examine who you are, what you stand for and what you’ve tolerated unquestioningly during the time of life you used to call “normal”.

At this time of national lockdown and media frenzy, various stimuli are embedded in our subconscious on daily basis. Be it the stories we tell ourselves or the propaganda and the scaremongering the media portray.

Why not take a conscious effort to be different? This is the perfect opportunity to switch the negativity off and put your creative, big blue sky thinking hats on and look at life differently.

Let’s admit it… Many of us haven’t had time to get creative since we were kids; some of us had even forgotten what it was like to be creative till isolation happened.

Many people have lost their vocation, but admit openly how proud and fulfilled (as described by their social media feed) they feel in their new roles as healthcare assistants, supermarket employees and delivery ninjas.

Some business owners have had to think differently and take their businesses online. Families have had to get creative with budgeting as they’ve faced financial challenges. Look how many different recipes of bread are going around and the vast population who have attempted to make bread on fancy skillets to keep busy and sane.

I bet there have been many moments of laughter and pure joy as families have succeeded in making bread that’s half edible. Who had time to bake bread pre CV19? That’s such a great example of getting creative and living differently by many.

If I was to encourage you to see this period as an opportunity to grow into a better version of you, what would you say?

Would it be a good time to evolve and reinvent yourself, even a little bit?

Why not make a list of all the things you’ve been tolerating in your pre CV19 life as a first step? Look for what you could eliminate from your new life? Don’t forget to involve your loved ones and take them on this wonderful journey with you, so you can grow as a family and thrive together.

And please get in touch if you’d like any further exercises in the quest to start your wonderful and exciting personal revolution journey.

Stay connected and stay safe.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Time To Stay Deliberately Connected!

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own Being” Hafez

Being a proud Shirazi girl, I’ve visited this quote many times during the past year when I’ve been getting used to living by myself, especially during long weekends when mini me has been away from home and I haven’t had plans.

I know there are plenty of you who’d say “we enjoy our own company” but I’m curious to know if your answer is still the same in lockdown times. Because let’s face it, we don’t have the distractions we once did.

I’m an extroverted introvert and adore proximity to people and hugs. But I have to admit that I’m grateful for lessons I’ve learnt in the last year before having lockdown imposed on us, and for getting to like my own company or I’d have found this experience hard!

I’ve still experienced some cracks showing at times because I sorely miss adult human contact. But I’ve been fortunate enough to turn to my vast network of supporters to find relief. I’ve ensured I stick to a structured self-care routine to remain optimistic.

So today, my heart goes out to those of you who feel lonely and are suffering emotionally. This post is a shout out to all of you who live alone. And to those who feel alone even if in company at present time. If you are struggling, please know you’re not the only one; even if some are putting on a brave face.

People come together in time of adversity, so please don’t suffer in silence and ask for help.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Imagination and memory follow the same neural path.

Have you ever considered how easy it is to snap out of the loop of negative thoughts you may be experiencing? All you need to do in that moment is to CHOOSE to be different. Stand up if you’re sitting down. Look up if you have your head down. Close your eyes and bring back memories of a beautiful event.

In fact, next time you’re looking at a site that’s taking your breath away, make a picture memory. You may be at the seaside, or the mountains, or your favourite restaurant, or a friend’s wedding.

Notice what you see, hear and feel. Notice the colours, the sounds and the textures. Notice the scents and the tastes. Then when you’re in need of cheering up, recall the picture memory and the sensations associated with it. It’s magical, it really works!

Mini me and I were in Venice this time last year and fb keeps on teasing me with memories of a year ago.

Looking at the crowds in this featured picture, I’m wondering…

About how silent, even eerie the side streets and the canals in the enchanted sunken city of Venice must be, feel and look today.

How relieved the locals must feel on one hand to have their beautiful city to themselves. And yet how much of an economic struggle this must be for them on the other hand.

I’m also thinking about how I took life as I knew it for granted. The wonders of the world I was lucky enough to explore. The touch of my loved ones which I miss incredibly. The ability to jump in the car and enjoy a day at the beach. A short train ride to London to immerse myself in a few hours of culture. Even the simple pleasure of taking a trip to the local drugstore to buy hair colour and a new shade of nail polish just because… All of these and more that I had at my fingertips, I took for granted. We all did!

So today, instead of finding ourselves in another beautiful European city, mini me and I are going to look at old pictures. We will use the power of our imagination to reminisce about a life we once knew and the precious memories we made at every location. A life I hope we get back sometime soon in the future, albeit I cannot think for sure what that would look like anymore. Because I know the world we knew has changed for good, as have the people in it.

If nothing else, I’ve learnt to be more present, to look for pleasure in the pain I face and to say thank you more often… There are lessons in every adversity we face.

Happy Easter everyone

Much love, Easter eggs and strong coffee

Vafa