Look Back Only To See How Far You’ve Come

 
 
Look back only to see how far you’ve come
 
 
How much attention do you pay to your timeline? Those of you who know me are only too familiar with how I reminisce about our memories and shared experiences.
 
This morning I was thinking about when and how my transformation was accelerated in the right direction. All because of a long walk and talk in a beautiful Spa Hotel with a mentor I trusted and respected three years ago today.
 
I started to look at life with a different perspective. A lot of my values and deep-rooted beliefs were challenged. But during that walk, I could clearly see a future that was much more aligned with how I wanted to be and how I wanted to impact the world around me. That was day one of a new direction for me 💥
 
Perhaps that’s the reason I love, value and offer outdoor coaching and retreats as part of my offerings 🥰
 
And then Facebook reminded me of my activities this time last year… I started doing the ‘what’s your story’ video series a year ago. I remember how apprehensive I was as I held my phone in front of my face and pressed the record button.
 
We had just entered into a period of uncertainty due to Covid dominating social media and every conversation we had. We were trying to make sense of our stories.
 
And as uncomfortable as it was for me to speak to an object, I listened to the part of me that had a positive intention in spite of my fear of looking unnatural and serious as I spoke. And so, a new journey of personal growth and development started as I stepped out of my comfort zone.
 
It certainly took time to get used to smiling into the camera and being more like the real me on video.
My intentions were to keep connected as we were having to socially distance. I also wanted to inject a bit of calm into the frenzy that took hold of my social media timeline by raising awareness of how the stories we told ourselves impacted our mental health and wellbeing.
 
A year later, I’m more comfortable with speaking in front of a camera. Who knew I’d be recording content in a professional studio a year on?!
 
 
What’s the point of this story you ask? Well… experience shows that:
  • New experiences can seem more scary than they really are. Learning to silence the fear will motivate you into action.
  •  With practice and repetition, you can build new habits.
  •  You can do anything you set your mind to.
  •  Accepting that failure is a part of life increases your bouncebackability.
  •  Having an awareness that the fear you feel is intending to keep you safe, but at times, it’s standing in the way of your fulfilment.
  • Guilt is one of the biggest drivers in keeping you stuck. What will other people think of you if you don’t live according to their expectations may be playing a part in your decision making.
  • Perhaps you’re finding yourself overwhelmed by the number of options you’re generating and can’t think of how to move out of the overwhelm?
 
What may help you assess the situation…
  • Accepting that your first responsibility is to yourself and keeping yourself resourceful. Only then you’re in a position to take meaningful action and be the example, help and support you aim to be for others. Your children do what you show them, not what you tell them. What sort of an example do you set if you compromise on your values and demonstrate this to them?
  • Understanding that you will not please everyone, but you will have real impact on a few may give you the courage to stay on track.
  • Believing that you have all the necessary ingredients inside of you to live the life you want. Sometimes, you have blind spots and can’t see the wood for the trees. Working with a coach or mentor will help you see life with a different perspective.
 
Let’s face it; life is for living, not waiting for the circumstances to be right. Because before you know it, life has passed you by and you’re left with a list of ‘if onlys’.
 
What’s your story today? When is a good day to start living life on your terms? In the famous words of Paulo Coelho, are you still saying one day or will today be day one? You decide ✨✨✨
 
Call me when you’re ready to take a literal or a metaphorical walk and work through your limiting beliefs that are causing your blind spots. 
 
 
Love & Strong Coffee
 
Vafa
 
Vafa expressing joy gratitude and freedom infant of Donnington castle in Newbury, UK

Create Opportunities

 

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”  Bruce Lee

 

I love this quote.  I heard it and it resonated so deeply I had to share it!

When you start dreaming about a better future, hold onto that dream; make it bigger, better and brighter and walk towards it.

Don’t look for excuses to stop making progress and blame circumstances when the going gets tough. YES! Change isn’t easy, but well worth the discomfort in the long run.

Your unconscious mind is constantly looking for evidence to support your thoughts, your words and your feelings. It wants to ‘keep you safe’ by getting you to repeat the same unresourceful behaviour, and instead, it’s sabotaging your growth.

Your words become your world, and your thoughts become your actions. So, be mindful of creating excuses that are responsible for YOU standing in your own way of success, happiness and fulfilment.

When thinking about a better future, look for opportunities, not obstacles and laugh in the face of fear to keep the momentum going.

Does this quote resonate with anyone else? What’s your story?

This is a picture of me looking for opportunities of growth in every conversation.

Call me when you wish to create more opportunities

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Vafa opening a bottle of champagne celebrating graduation obtaining NLP coaching diploma from UKCPD

Get The Life You Wish For

“Get The Life You Wish For”…  I so often heard the voice inside my head say this phrase.  Especially when I came face to face with situations that put me at a cross roads where my values were being tested.  Then I came across this passage from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

 

 “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek.  Own the fear, find the cave and write a new inning for yourself. For the people you’re meant to serve and support and for your culture.  Choose courage over comfort, choose whole hearts over armour and choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid at the exact same time.” 

 

If you’re looking for what’s missing in your life or in need of new direction, if you’re defined by the measures of success that someone else has imposed on you or if you’re feeling guilty for wanting more, then please know you’re one of many who think and feel this way.

What are you doing to get the life you wish for?

I was reflecting on the time I used to wish for a better life during a graduation ceremony with a difference and congratulated myself for stepping inside the cave even though it was scary, unknown and uncomfortable.

For choosing whole hearts instead of armour, even though it deprived me from aspects of my old, secure world; and for choosing courage over comfort which scares me and makes me feel very alive every day!

Are you feeling stuck or are you living a life that makes you feel alive?

We only get one life; let’s live it on our terms

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Do Something That Scares You!

 

“May your choice reflect your hopes and not your fears” Nelson Mandela

 

How often do you do something that scares you?  How often do you make decisions that reflect your hopes, your heart’s desires and your dreams, rather than let the fear of change paralyse your thinking and reasoning powers?

I’ve made so many difficult decisions in the last few years.  Most of which have led to a huge personal & professional development.  Some decisions haven’t been great, but even those have provided ample experiences and lessons without which I wouldn’t be who I am now.

If you don’t try, you won’t know the magic that’s within your reach, and yet so many choose to tolerate the devil they know for the fear of upsetting the status quo which doesn’t serve them well anyway! It’s keeping them stuck, unfulfilled and unhappy. Crazy, right?

Their narrative is: ‘One DAY I’ll get the life I deserve’. To which I reply: ‘would today be a good day to start?’

I love walking alongside people who are brave enough to let go of their fear and embrace change to learn, to grow and to find the magic. Do you know anyone like that?

Fun fact… Going to a music festival by myself was so outside of my comfort zone, but I decided to do it a year ago today & I loved it! I’d be there now if it wasn’t for 2020 throwing us a curved ball!

What are you choosing that reflects your hopes, not your fears?  We only get one life.  Let’s live the life we want and deserve, starting from today

Next time you want to do something that scares you a little, perhaps when you’d like someone to walk alongside you, give me a call

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity? handcuffed man freed and reaching out into the sky for lfreedom

Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity?

 

“Do you choose courage or conformity?”  I asked myself again after another difficult conversation that left me demotivated to strive for my best.  Then I remembered this passage and exhaled, attempting to calm my distressed nervous system.

 

 “It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly” T Roosevelt

 

This quote has been such a driver for me.  Every time I thought of choosing comfort and conformity over courage in my journey of Personal Revolution…

I chose courage over comfort though; Every – Single –  Day!

You know how the other quote goes.  “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”  And it was by sharing stories and insights with some great minds that I was inspired to push through the pain and get the life I wished for.

So now, I’m on a mission to spread the nuggets of wisdom that changed my life.  I’ll be doing this by chatting to some truly inspirational people.  

 

What’s my main purpose for starting this adventure?

To help my clients of course.  They often think they’re the only ones experiencing the negative emotions and feel unfulfilled.  They believe they have no other choice but to carry on as they are.

With the help of my beautiful guests, I plan to inspire you to get the courage and clarity to live life on your terms.  Because I think that’s key to families and workplaces becoming happier, more connected places.

So watch out for my “Inspiring Courage” video series next week.  I’m so looking forward to hearing my guests’ favourite quotes and the lessons they’ve learnt.  And what the success factors were in them  moving forward when they faced the same question I did time and again; “Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity?” 

If you know of anyone who’d like to share their inspirational nuggets of wisdom, please drop me a line

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa