Look Back Only To See How Far You’ve Come

 
 
Look back only to see how far you’ve come
 
 
How much attention do you pay to your timeline? Those of you who know me are only too familiar with how I reminisce about our memories and shared experiences.
 
This morning I was thinking about when and how my transformation was accelerated in the right direction. All because of a long walk and talk in a beautiful Spa Hotel with a mentor I trusted and respected three years ago today.
 
I started to look at life with a different perspective. A lot of my values and deep-rooted beliefs were challenged. But during that walk, I could clearly see a future that was much more aligned with how I wanted to be and how I wanted to impact the world around me. That was day one of a new direction for me 💥
 
Perhaps that’s the reason I love, value and offer outdoor coaching and retreats as part of my offerings 🥰
 
And then Facebook reminded me of my activities this time last year… I started doing the ‘what’s your story’ video series a year ago. I remember how apprehensive I was as I held my phone in front of my face and pressed the record button.
 
We had just entered into a period of uncertainty due to Covid dominating social media and every conversation we had. We were trying to make sense of our stories.
 
And as uncomfortable as it was for me to speak to an object, I listened to the part of me that had a positive intention in spite of my fear of looking unnatural and serious as I spoke. And so, a new journey of personal growth and development started as I stepped out of my comfort zone.
 
It certainly took time to get used to smiling into the camera and being more like the real me on video.
My intentions were to keep connected as we were having to socially distance. I also wanted to inject a bit of calm into the frenzy that took hold of my social media timeline by raising awareness of how the stories we told ourselves impacted our mental health and wellbeing.
 
A year later, I’m more comfortable with speaking in front of a camera. Who knew I’d be recording content in a professional studio a year on?!
 
 
What’s the point of this story you ask? Well… experience shows that:
  • New experiences can seem more scary than they really are. Learning to silence the fear will motivate you into action.
  •  With practice and repetition, you can build new habits.
  •  You can do anything you set your mind to.
  •  Accepting that failure is a part of life increases your bouncebackability.
  •  Having an awareness that the fear you feel is intending to keep you safe, but at times, it’s standing in the way of your fulfilment.
  • Guilt is one of the biggest drivers in keeping you stuck. What will other people think of you if you don’t live according to their expectations may be playing a part in your decision making.
  • Perhaps you’re finding yourself overwhelmed by the number of options you’re generating and can’t think of how to move out of the overwhelm?
 
What may help you assess the situation…
  • Accepting that your first responsibility is to yourself and keeping yourself resourceful. Only then you’re in a position to take meaningful action and be the example, help and support you aim to be for others. Your children do what you show them, not what you tell them. What sort of an example do you set if you compromise on your values and demonstrate this to them?
  • Understanding that you will not please everyone, but you will have real impact on a few may give you the courage to stay on track.
  • Believing that you have all the necessary ingredients inside of you to live the life you want. Sometimes, you have blind spots and can’t see the wood for the trees. Working with a coach or mentor will help you see life with a different perspective.
 
Let’s face it; life is for living, not waiting for the circumstances to be right. Because before you know it, life has passed you by and you’re left with a list of ‘if onlys’.
 
What’s your story today? When is a good day to start living life on your terms? In the famous words of Paulo Coelho, are you still saying one day or will today be day one? You decide ✨✨✨
 
Call me when you’re ready to take a literal or a metaphorical walk and work through your limiting beliefs that are causing your blind spots. 
 
 
Love & Strong Coffee
 
Vafa
 
zigzag of handprinted stones in the forest depicting the path of a hero

Zigzag Trail Of Life

 

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Joseph Campbell

 

I came across this zigzag trail of beautifully hand painted stones on my walk earlier today.  It depicted the path I’ve travelled on for the last few years.  When I decided to throw myself into being an explorer whole-heartedly, I didn’t realise how many zigzags I’d face!    

There were times when I faced so many obstacles that all I wanted to do was to hibernate like my favourite creatures, the hedgehogs.  But that wasn’t an option.  I had stepped beyond the point of no return and there was no looking back.  And I soon learned that the more challenges I took on, the easier the decision to take more challenges became.  It was as if I was building a new muscle I didn’t know I had!  

Every time I faced another puzzle on my zigzag trail and decided to tackle it like my life depended on it, I found a hidden strength or a forgotten resource I hadn’t thought of before.  Very often, a new mentor appeared on my path; literally from nowhere!  

I persevered until I found my new path.  My current reality.  A reality that’s aligned with who I am, what I stand for and what I won’t tolerate.  A reality that’s congruent to my core values.

And I found myself being the mentor for a younger version of me today.  Someone who described what he was experiencing, and he took me back a few years.  He showed vulnerability in sharing his story and found someone who’d been there.  Exactly what I did back when I became an explorer. Who knows who this young man will inspire and mentor a few years down the line?  

 

When the status quo isn’t leaving you fulfilled, what do you do?

When the call to adventure comes, you have two options: 

💥You either choose courage and follow that call.  When you do, you will connect with who you really are and what you stand for.  You will sense a kind of ease and freedom in living your everyday life.  You will become a better version of yourself and become more attractive inside and out. 

💥Or you choose comfort and conformity and numb the pain by finding distractions in the form of work, food, alcohol and material possessions.  You can be sure that you’re doing exactly as others want you to, and that you’re pleasing everyone else, but yourself.

If you choose courage, be warned!  The path to finding fulfilment is not a straight one!  

Finding this path isn’t for the faint hearted!  Only enter if you’re willing to: 

  • become an explorer
  • have your deep-rooted beliefs challenged
  • step outside your comfort zone
  • let go of certainty
  • trust your intuition
  • get out of your head and reconnect with your body
  • have the courage to let go of your perceived security which in-fact is keeping you stuck! 
  • And most importantly…. Enter this path only if you trust yourself and are willing to trust the process…  

If you’re wondering about the process, reach out and I’ll explain.

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa x 

heart shaped stone with dream etched on

You’re Never Too Old To Dream

 

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”  Walt Disney

 

I Found this beautiful stone amongst hundreds laid out on my walk today and I thought of the e-mail I received from a client recently.
 
“Thank you for helping me give myself permission to dream again” he wrote.
 
The email gave me a warm fuzzy feeling on one level! It reiterated the reasons I love doing what I do.
It also saddened me… At exactly what point in our life, do we remove the permission for ourselves to dream?
 
Have you ever considered how much of a more free and fulfilled life you would lead if you believed in your dreams and took steps towards fulfilling them?
 
What sort of a message are you sending your children when you tolerate a mediocre existence and regularly sacrifice on who you want to be and how you’d like to live?
 
Yes; trust me… they know how you show up! They’re more perceptive than you give them credit for!
Please remember, you’re never too old to dream new dreams…
 
Just imagine… What would it mean to you to live the life of your dreams?
 
Call me if you like my style, and if not, there are plenty more coaches out there whom you may like better.
But please invest time in yourself and pursue your dreams. Because when you do, it’s a different kinda life you’ll be leading. You only get one life and it so deserves to be lived well ✨💫✨

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa x 

Trust the magic of beginnings

Trust The Magic Of Beginnings

 

 

“And suddenly you know: It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” Meister Eckhart

 

I shared this post on our Mind Superheroes facebook page yesterday. 

I was delighted to receive quite a few private messages.   A few friends and associates texted to say how the post inspired them to start new projects!

It was the first proper day back to work for me yesterday.  I had a few scheduled calls with clients and my business community.

In every conversation, I sensed ‘HOPE’ for a new beginning.  The new year does that to us.  We get a new lease of life!  We get a chance to start over and become WHO WE WANT TO BE.

Although it was the first day of homeschooling for children in England.  There was intent in making this year a brilliant one by their parents.  I love the community I’m a part of.  No matter how tough times get, we still remain optimistic.  We look for what we have and what is in our power to do to thrive.  We support and champion each other.  

This is the beauty of surrounding ourselves with people who inspire us, not those who drain us.  

 

One thing if for sure…

It’s been tough for most of us to have had some of our liberties removed by the events of the recent months.  But our freedom will never be stripped away from us without our consent.  We  

  •  are still in charge of our lives in how we respond to each event.  
  •  have full control over our thoughts and therefore our actions.  
  •  can choose our spoken words carefully.  Because we know they have a direct effect on how we will feel and how we strive for results.  

As always, investing in our physical and emotional well-being is key to keeping a positive mental health. Whatever that looks for you.

 

For me, that will include:

  • Staying connected with my optimistic community.
  • Sharing laughs, cuddles, kindness and loving gestures with mini me and the rest of the family on video calls.
  • Journaling the small, steady actions I’m getting to the habit of owning.
  • Taking my daily walks even more so, when it looks miserable out there and I don’t feel like doing it.
  • Listening to music to lift my mood and mummy dancing around the kitchen
  • Keeping hydrated.
  • Having a healthy diet with a sprinkling of cake to keep me sweet
  • And what never fails me! Read, listen and invest in personal development

 

NOW is a brilliant time to trust the magic of new beginnings 

  • Take stock of what you’ve achieved in the last year and be sure to celebrate your wins.
  • IMAGINE where you would like to be in life and work at the end of 2021.  
  • WRITE a letter to your future self and take yourself through that journey.  
  • MAKE building small, consistent habits your new norm.

You’d be surprised at the magic that’ll unfold at the end of the year.

What are your plans for the upcoming year?  It is your birthright to create a life of your choosing.

Reach out if you’re feeling a little wobbly and need listening ears.

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa x 

Vafa expressing joy gratitude and freedom infant of Donnington castle in Newbury, UK

Create Opportunities

 

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”  Bruce Lee

 

I love this quote.  I heard it and it resonated so deeply I had to share it!

When you start dreaming about a better future, hold onto that dream; make it bigger, better and brighter and walk towards it.

Don’t look for excuses to stop making progress and blame circumstances when the going gets tough. YES! Change isn’t easy, but well worth the discomfort in the long run.

Your unconscious mind is constantly looking for evidence to support your thoughts, your words and your feelings. It wants to ‘keep you safe’ by getting you to repeat the same unresourceful behaviour, and instead, it’s sabotaging your growth.

Your words become your world, and your thoughts become your actions. So, be mindful of creating excuses that are responsible for YOU standing in your own way of success, happiness and fulfilment.

When thinking about a better future, look for opportunities, not obstacles and laugh in the face of fear to keep the momentum going.

Does this quote resonate with anyone else? What’s your story?

This is a picture of me looking for opportunities of growth in every conversation.

Call me when you wish to create more opportunities

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Vafa opening a bottle of champagne celebrating graduation obtaining NLP coaching diploma from UKCPD

Get The Life You Wish For

“Get The Life You Wish For”…  I so often heard the voice inside my head say this phrase.  Especially when I came face to face with situations that put me at a cross roads where my values were being tested.  Then I came across this passage from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

 

 “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek.  Own the fear, find the cave and write a new inning for yourself. For the people you’re meant to serve and support and for your culture.  Choose courage over comfort, choose whole hearts over armour and choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid at the exact same time.” 

 

If you’re looking for what’s missing in your life or in need of new direction, if you’re defined by the measures of success that someone else has imposed on you or if you’re feeling guilty for wanting more, then please know you’re one of many who think and feel this way.

What are you doing to get the life you wish for?

I was reflecting on the time I used to wish for a better life during a graduation ceremony with a difference and congratulated myself for stepping inside the cave even though it was scary, unknown and uncomfortable.

For choosing whole hearts instead of armour, even though it deprived me from aspects of my old, secure world; and for choosing courage over comfort which scares me and makes me feel very alive every day!

Are you feeling stuck or are you living a life that makes you feel alive?

We only get one life; let’s live it on our terms

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Do Something That Scares You!

 

“May your choice reflect your hopes and not your fears” Nelson Mandela

 

How often do you do something that scares you?  How often do you make decisions that reflect your hopes, your heart’s desires and your dreams, rather than let the fear of change paralyse your thinking and reasoning powers?

I’ve made so many difficult decisions in the last few years.  Most of which have led to a huge personal & professional development.  Some decisions haven’t been great, but even those have provided ample experiences and lessons without which I wouldn’t be who I am now.

If you don’t try, you won’t know the magic that’s within your reach, and yet so many choose to tolerate the devil they know for the fear of upsetting the status quo which doesn’t serve them well anyway! It’s keeping them stuck, unfulfilled and unhappy. Crazy, right?

Their narrative is: ‘One DAY I’ll get the life I deserve’. To which I reply: ‘would today be a good day to start?’

I love walking alongside people who are brave enough to let go of their fear and embrace change to learn, to grow and to find the magic. Do you know anyone like that?

Fun fact… Going to a music festival by myself was so outside of my comfort zone, but I decided to do it a year ago today & I loved it! I’d be there now if it wasn’t for 2020 throwing us a curved ball!

What are you choosing that reflects your hopes, not your fears?  We only get one life.  Let’s live the life we want and deserve, starting from today

Next time you want to do something that scares you a little, perhaps when you’d like someone to walk alongside you, give me a call

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Have You Found Your Tribe?

 

“Tell your story.  Shout it.  Write it.  Whisper it if you have to, but tell it.  Some won’t understand it.  Some will outright reject it, but many will thank you for it.  And then the most magical thing will happen.  One by one, voices will start whispering, ‘Me, too’!  And your tribe will gather and you will never feel alone again”. L.R. Knost

 

My story today, on Monday June 1st is that I did the first school run in 10 weeks as mini me decided to return to school.

Also, I felt judged today, but decided not to let it in! And instead, I’m sharing my thoughts and seeking yours.

I don’t profess to be social media savvy; in fact, in truth, I didn’t particularly have a huge digital footprint because I had led quite a private life online till before lockdown.

Networking for me, was about meeting and getting to know people on a deep human level, and deciding who was to be a part of “my tribe”. That’s how I found my clients, my favourite networkers and even friends.

With lockdown, I had to think outside the box and started talking about my passion and purpose, storytelling and connecting on video. It was an experiment, but one I’m happy I conducted. Because as mini me says, “practice makes permanent, not perfect; because there’s no such thing as perfect!”

And I found my online tribe. I’m not polished, but I speak from the heart.

I’m curious, have you found your tribe?  Do you put more value on how professional a vlog is or on the content it delivers?

Let me know your thoughts…

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity? handcuffed man freed and reaching out into the sky for lfreedom

Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity?

 

“Do you choose courage or conformity?”  I asked myself again after another difficult conversation that left me demotivated to strive for my best.  Then I remembered this passage and exhaled, attempting to calm my distressed nervous system.

 

 “It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly” T Roosevelt

 

This quote has been such a driver for me.  Every time I thought of choosing comfort and conformity over courage in my journey of Personal Revolution…

I chose courage over comfort though; Every – Single –  Day!

You know how the other quote goes.  “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”  And it was by sharing stories and insights with some great minds that I was inspired to push through the pain and get the life I wished for.

So now, I’m on a mission to spread the nuggets of wisdom that changed my life.  I’ll be doing this by chatting to some truly inspirational people.  

 

What’s my main purpose for starting this adventure?

To help my clients of course.  They often think they’re the only ones experiencing the negative emotions and feel unfulfilled.  They believe they have no other choice but to carry on as they are.

With the help of my beautiful guests, I plan to inspire you to get the courage and clarity to live life on your terms.  Because I think that’s key to families and workplaces becoming happier, more connected places.

So watch out for my “Inspiring Courage” video series next week.  I’m so looking forward to hearing my guests’ favourite quotes and the lessons they’ve learnt.  And what the success factors were in them  moving forward when they faced the same question I did time and again; “Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity?” 

If you know of anyone who’d like to share their inspirational nuggets of wisdom, please drop me a line

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

How Do You Define Yourself?

 

“Identity cannot be found or fabricated, but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go” Doug Cooper

Today’s vlog is on the topic of identity.  Who are you and how do you define yourself?  Do you define yourself by the job you have, the role/roles you play?  Or do you define yourself by who you are in your core, the values you hold dear, and what your bigger purpose is?   Can you honestly say that you created your identity?

I often come across clients who are living life according to the values they’ve learnt to abide by.  These values are shaped by the upbringing they had and how their physical and emotional needs were met by their care givers.  How they were influenced by teachers, peer groups, work environments, religious leaders, and even the sports they played and sport’s teams they supported.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve spoken to so many people who feel lost, overwhelmed and angry.  Because they feel out of control, they’ve lost their jobs or have been furloughed and simply don’t know what to do.  Their identity was so intertwined with the job title they had, that without the job, they have lost their identity!

If this resonates with you, have you considered using this time to your best advantage and getting to know the real you?

When was the last time you thought about your values, and whether or not they’re congruent with your identity and your lifestyle?

As a first step, consider what your answer will be next time someone asks you “what do you do’?  Remember…  You are waaay more than your job title.

I’d love to hear from you and how you’re making the most of a bad situation? I’m happy to have a conversation if you’d like to make sense of your story.

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa