“Life Is An Evolution”​

 

“Life is an evolution, isn’t it mum” asked mini me on one of those bygone days when we used to travel to school.

Yes.  Life is indeed an evolution.  We are the product of the environments we grew up in.  The people we grew up with.  The beliefs and values we adopted.  The sense of connection and belonging we felt and still feel at every step of the way. 

Every new experience and interaction helps shape our reality and the lens we see the world through.  For some people, evolution is a slow process.

For some of us however, certain circumstances arise in our life at the most unexpected time.  They force us to re-evaluate our lives.  

Mine came when I suffered with burnout when I was juggling far too many balls in the air at the same time.  The overwhelm I felt paralysed my logical left thinking brain I so faithfully relied upon until then.  

I clearly remember articulating this as “my amygdala having hijacked my brain” to a friend.  I had averaged 3 hours of sleep each night for the previous 5 months and I was simply incapable of making even the simplest of decisions.

That’s when I was forced to take time out and rethink the path I wanted to travel on.  As difficult as it was to go through that period, it was a blessing in disguise.  It may have seemed like a huge “failure” to have lost the ability to be the old resilient me and keep on ploughing forward regardless.  But it afforded me a great opportunity to get to know myself.  To allow myself to get vulnerable and share “my story”.  That’s when I discovered that I wasn’t the only one who felt like that.

That’s when the real transformation began for me.  To allow myself to believe my own truth.  To start the process of change which wasn’t a walk in the park, but so worth the pain and the discomfort.

Perhaps the period of discomfort we’re experiencing now is also a blessing in disguise.  Not that many would recognise it as that YET!

You see, with change comes growth if you allow the vulnerability out of the box.  And with growth, transformation into an individual who lives a fulfilled life.  A life that’s congruent with one’s core values.  I’m not suggesting it will be a fairytale “happily ever after” life, but a life on your terms.  

It’s only then that you feel a certain amount of peace and gratitude you didn’t know existed when you lived your old life.  And hence, a newfound resilience and resolve which helps you deal with the unhappy times with a different kind of mindset.

And this is what I take my beautiful coachees through.  I encourage them to find themselves and what makes them tick.  What’s truly important to them.  Their truths, and how to reach for them unapologetically.  They learn to evaluate how they communicate their desires to their community.  

The realise what they’ve been tolerating.  The learn how to embrace and emanate their values in every communication they conduct.  I give them the tools to become attractive to themselves first and foremost, and to the people they cross paths with.

Trying to master the unknown we have faced for the last few weeks is yet another unexpected event where many of us have been forced to think and act differently from the time of life we called “normal”.

Isn’t this a brilliant time to redefine that “normal” as you knew it.  Why not make it what you want it to be?  To examine who you are, what you stand for and what you’ve tolerated unquestioningly during the time of life you used to call “normal”.

At this time of national lockdown and media frenzy, various stimuli are embedded in our subconscious on daily basis.  Be it the stories we tell ourselves or the propaganda and the scaremongering the media portray.  

Why not take a conscious effort to be different?  This is the perfect opportunity to switch the negativity off and put your creative, big blue sky thinking hats on and look at life differently.  

Let’s admit it… Many of us haven’t had time to get creative since we were kids; some of us had even forgotten what it was like to be creative till isolation happened.

Many people have lost their vocation, but admit openly how proud and fulfilled (as described by their social media feed) they feel in their new roles as healthcare assistants, supermarket employees and delivery ninjas.

Some business owners have had to think differently and take their businesses online.  Families have had to get creative with budgeting as they’ve faced financial challenges.  Look how many different recipes of bread are going around and the vast population who have attempted to make bread on fancy skillets to keep busy and sane.

I bet there have been many moments of laughter and pure joy as families have succeeded in making bread that’s half edible.  Who had time to bake bread pre CV19?  That’s such a great example of getting creative and living differently by many.

If I was to encourage you to see this period as an opportunity to grow into a better version of you, what would you say?

Would it be a good time to evolve and reinvent yourself, even a little bit?

Why not make a list of all the things you’ve been tolerating in your pre CV19 life as a first step?  Look for what you could eliminate from your new life?  Don’t forget to involve your loved ones and take them on this wonderful journey with you, so you can grow as a family and thrive together.

And please get in touch if you’d like any further exercises in the quest to start your wonderful and exciting personal revolution journey.

Stay connected and stay safe.

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

How Do You Cope In Times Of Adversity?

 

Happy New Year ✨🥂✨

2019 threw me so many curved balls that I now feel, I can rise in the face of adversity and win hands down.  No matter what cards I’m dealt!

EVERY TIME I thought things were going my way, the universe tested my patience and resilience.  But you know something?  The universe forgot I was a war child and I’ve faced what many of my peers couldn’t even imagine as their worst nightmare.

I’m not saying I was ready to attack the challenges face on immediately.  And I’m not saying I didn’t feel scared, hurt and angry at times.  And there were times I crawled back into my shell and wished I could hibernate for a season like my favourite nocturnal creatures, the hedgehogs.   But my beautiful and emotionally intelligent boy, and the undying support of my very close network of friends and family got me going.  Not forgetting my gorgeous and incredibly talented accountability buddies who guided me out of the potholes I found myself in.

I decided to acknowledge the pain, rather than bury and ignore it like I used to.  I found strategies around dealing with the unrest and the uncertainty.  For me, this was in the form of taking long walks, reading, and having pow wows with my buddies to check my sanity.  Until I found solutions to the many challenges I faced.  ONE CHALLENGE AT A TIME…

I’m curious…. How do you deal with the serious, surprise life challenges that are thrown your way?  Are you aware of the immense guilt and the shame you feel in those situations as I did?  And do they stop you from reaching out and seeking different perspectives?

Here’s to believing in ourselves and the hidden powers within us more… In the famous words of one of my favourite poets, Hafez:

“You have in your soul, every ingredient necessary to turn your existence into joy.  All you have to do is to mix your ingredients”

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa