Stay True To Yourself

Stay True To Yourself

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.”
Roy T. Bennett

A conversation I had yesterday morning with mini me over breakfast about staying true to yourself prompted me to think back to one of the most instrumental a-ha monuments in my life.

Three years ago yesterday, I was driving back from college, reflecting back on the feedback I’d received from my peers.

After a few co-coaching sessions over the entire weekend, the feedback from the said peers was unanimous! I knew very clearly what my values were.

“But doesn’t EVERYONE know what their values are?” I asked as we came together as a group

Later that evening, I’m in the car driving back after a weekend of new learnings and insights and suddenly… Ping! I sense a penny drop moment!

“That’s the reason I dislike work so much! I’m ‘having to’ operate outside of my core values EVERY single day!” I said to myself.

And I realised at that moment that my life choices, although thought of and indeed encouraged as ‘normal’ by our society, had been hindering my happiness, fulfilment, growth.

The clarity I gained on the drive home that night was a major catalyst for change.

Perhaps, that’s the reason core values and the benefit of knowing what yours are, are a major discussion point at the ‘VIP’ seminars.

Knowing your core values will prompt you to invest in your self-care and live a life of ease and harmony because the choices you make provide you with clarity of direction.

✨When you live your life according to your core values, you live your truth. You’re unapologetic about showing up as you are and making a stand for what matters to you.

❓Are you living according to your core values?
❓Do you even know what they are?
❓How do you sense your life changing for the better when you begin to live life congruently to your core values?

🌱Curious to explore your core values? Drop me a message 👇🏼

Love & strong coffee

The Power Of Regret

The Power Of Regret

What’s your relationship with the word ‘regret’?

I’ve been enjoying reading and reflecting on Dan Pink’s new book ‘The Power of Regret’ in the last week. The title had me intrigued and as I’d enjoyed books by Dan Pink previously, I delved in whilst wondering if I would put the words ‘power’ and ‘regret’ in the same sentence…

Don’t get me wrong! There are PLENTY of ‘things’ I would have loved to do differently, (notice how I can’t bring myself to use the ‘R’ word) but hindsight is… well exactly that! Hindsight!

And although I look back often, I don’t view my mistakes as regrets, but instead, look at them in terms of lessons learned.

I suspect it’s because the word ‘regret’ has always held a negative connotation for me. ‘My story’ is that without having made ‘those’ mistakes, I wouldn’t be who I am and neither would I be here, and I clearly love being ‘here’, having created my current reality that was once a dream!

Dan put ‘regrets’ in four different categories, one of which is ‘boldness’ regrets. He writes, boldness regrets are often about exploration. According to the responses he had to the surveys he conducted, some of the most significant explorations are ‘inward’.

He asserts furthermore, that AUTHENTICITY requires BOLDNESS and when authenticity is supported, so is GROWTH.

The most telling demonstration of this point came from several dozen people from all over the world who described their regret, their failure to be bold, with the same five words…

“NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF” he writes!

I found it most interesting to read that people who asserted their identity, rarely regretted it EVEN when those identities went counter to the dominant culture! People who suppressed their identity talked about denying themselves of the potential to live fully…

This body of work is so close to my heart and a huge part of the work I do with individuals and seminar participants.

Raising your awareness of your values and identity creates the desire to live a more authentic life where you are motivated to create a new forward direction in reaching your outcomes. This is a point that’s raised by almost every participant to my ‘VIP’ Seminar.

Without motivation and clarity of direction, one is likely to go round and round the same circle, ‘wishing’ life was different instead of ‘knowing’ what the next steps are. Does that resonate with you?

One big takeaway from this book was that…

PEOPLE HAVE MORE REGRETS ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO THAN THE THINGS THEY DID DO!

Reading this book has changed my relationship with the word regret. It’s also reiterated the power of having the boldness, the courage to stand for who we are and what we love doing and perusing it unapologetically. EVEN when it’s counter to the dominant culture and environment we exist within. Afterall, we’re more likely to regret the actions we didn’t take, than the ones we did!

If you would like to explore your values, your Identity and your Purpose so you live a more fulfilled life, get in touch with me. The next VIP seminar is on Saturday, April 2nd and it’s almost at full capacity.

Let’s connect when you’re ready to step into your authenticity.

You only get one life. You so deserve to get the life you wish for.

Love & Strong Coffee

Vafa

What’s The Fuss About Personal Development?

What’s The Fuss About Personal Development?

RIP Bob Proctor, the author of ‘You Were Born Rich’

You may have wondered what the fuss about personal development is at some point or another, especially if it’s not something you’re inclined to invest in.

As a lover of personal development, I was saddened to read about the passing of this legend and thought I’d give a brief account of his journey with the intention of inspiring those who may be intrigued about personal development.

One of the attendees to my last Saturday’s ’VIP’ seminar who is new to personal development commented at the end of the day ‘I now know what the fuss is about”. But that’s a story for another time…

Bob Proctor is one of the best known personal development ‘gurus’ and content creators of our time. Growing up, Proctor had a poor self-image and was a college drop out with no great future ambitions.

And then…

He met someone who introduced him to Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think And Grow Rich’. This was reported to be the first book he ever read! As first books go, he couldn’t have read a better one, as most of the personal development lovers would acknowledge!

And from there on, his life took a turn for the better and he went on to accomplish what might have seemed like an unachievable dream to an ordinary person. To many, he became extraordinary.

He wrote a New York Times best-selling book, became an influencer and contributed to the film ‘The Secret’. He believed that a positive self-image & programming was critical in obtaining success.

The point of this ‘story’ is to highlight the importance and the impact that ongoing personal development has on our lives.

All of us have the capacity to become extraordinary. The difference between those who achieve their dreams and those who don’t, is the ‘beliefs’ people have about their own abilities, the intentions they set and the lengths they go to, to give their ideas a tangible form.

Next time you’re wondering if ‘you can’, pay attention to ‘the story’ you’re telling yourself…

As Proctor said , thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hands.

Are you ready to start your personal development journey? Drop me a message if so and watch out for the next ‘VIP’ seminar, coming soon.

Let’s connect when you’re ready to invest in your personal development.

You only get one life. You so deserve to get the life you wish for.

Love & Strong Coffee

Vafa

Back To School With A Difference

It’s certainly been a time of back to school with a difference. We’ve loved running workshops for parents and educators to promote healthy discussions at home. The main topics have been emotional literacy and a building a resilient mindset. The attendees have loved the story books we selected for them. Using stories to discuss difficult topics is a fun for all. Children love imagining different scenarios and pretending. It’s learning by having fun and this is what we promote in our workshops.

This story books we chose deal with so many of the negative emotions and questions children may have about school, and find difficult to articulate.

When you attend our workshops, you’ll see how we use the power of storytelling, NLP and coaching techniques to promote healthy discussions around certain fears and anxieties not only the children, but their parents and educators may be experiencing as we speak.

Starting a new school year presents challenges normally, and even more so in the current climate. Thousands of new school starters will not have had the usual transition programme full of visits and activities.

Having spoken to many parents and educators, we appreciate the adults are dealing with anxieties of their own and this can magnify children’s uncertainties around a new school year.

This may lead to additional worries which need addressing before school starts if a positive experience is to be had. Our workshops have been impactful to parents and educators so far.

When you work with us, we will use the power of storytelling, coaching and NLP techniques to foster positive mental health in children, parents and educators.

Visit our website for more upcoming workshops or contact me for more information.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Getting Curious…

“Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there’s a garden. I will meet you there” Rumi

In loving memory of CH RIP 💔🖤💔

What’s one of the best pieces of advice you have ever been given?

Mine was to find my Ikigai when I was in the process of redefining my path and kept experimenting with new business ideas.

For years, I had a deep-rooted belief that all I could do for work was the profession I was trained to do. I had invested 25 years of my life in it after-all.

So I decided to become an explorer during which time I met a lot of people from different backgrounds. I became a curious student again and asked lots of good questions. I listened to the stories of many business owners at different stages of their journey. Some were start ups, and others seasoned entrepreneurs. Every single one had a viewpoint and a perspective worth listening to.

The new insights led to the doors of wonder being opened up in my mind where my logical left brain had dominated my outcomes up until that point. It was time to allow the creative right brain to get a turn in determining my future path. It was time to think differently.

I started to question my current limiting beliefs. It was like putting new colour shades on which changed the way the world appeared! I wondered what any of those people would do if they were in my shoes?

I compiled a list of strengths and the traits others valued in me. The activities I enjoyed taking part in. I wrote a list of tasks that motivated me. To take an audit of the things I would gladly do all day every day even if I wasn’t being paid was a useful first step for sure.

I was determined to find something that made my heart sing. And that’s what I now inspire and help my clients to achieve.

I present them with three questions to open the doors of wonder:

What would you do if you had all the time, money and resources in the world?
How would you choose to live if you knew you had a few months to live?
Who could you approach to seek different perspectives from?

I lost a dear friend yesterday. She championed me to the end and was an inspiration. She made everyday count because she knew the end was near. What would you do differently if you knew the end was near?

Let’s remember. You only get one life. Why not live it on your terms. How can you get the life you wish for?

Reach out and let’s have a chat

What’s Your Story?

“Step aside from all thinking, and there is nowhere you can’t go.” Seng-ts’an

So, I’m saying a cheerful Hi to my wonderful and diverse network at a time we’re being challenged in ways we’ve never known before!

At the time of writing this blog, we’re faced with a global pandemic and by now, have had at least two weeks of “trying” to make sense of our new reality, but are we there yet?

In an attempt to stay connected when we’re having to socially distance from each other, I’m starting a new vlog series. Something that I’m not hugely comfortable with, but to grow, one needs to step outside one’s comfort zone, right? 😉

Also, I’m being driven by a bigger purpose of providing a safe space for my audience to voice their fears and concerns. To stay connected and optimistic. My purpose in producing this vlog is to give you a chance to voice “your story” regardless of the camp you fall into and see how you wish to be supported.

This post is inspired by one of my favourite authors, Brene Brown. When she’s in conflict with her husband, she starts her dialogue by “my story is…”

This allows her the opportunity to be open and honest about how her thoughts are creating certain feelings about a particular situation, and how she’s narrating “her story”. She’ll often find that her husband has given a different meaning to the course of events, and therefore “his story” is different.

Proof that we interpret the same situation differently, according to our preferences, our installed filters and previous experiences which have shaped us as we are. By respectfully listening to each other’s stories, we feel seen, heard and understood. In that safe environment, we get a sense of connection, acceptance and belonging. We get to strategise and think of solutions to our problems.

So, what’s your story? Are you panic stricken, slightly anxious, heavy hearted, fear the unknown, bored because you’ve been furloughed and feel lost, or have you made peace with your new reality and are getting on with it? Or something entirely different? There are no right or wrong answers by the way. How you’re feeling at the moment is very real to you and you deserve to be believed.

Are you half full or half empty? What are your thoughts and what are the emotions and stories you’re attaching to those thought? What’s your story? Let’s talk and make sense of this madness together…

Love and strong coffee
Vafa

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.” Roy T. Bennett

“NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF” he writes!

PEOPLE HAVE MORE REGRETS ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO THAN THE THINGS THEY DID DO!

And then…

I present them with three questions to open the doors of wonder:

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.”
Roy T. Bennett