What’s Your Story?

“Step aside from all thinking, and there is nowhere you can’t go.” Seng-ts’an

So, I’m saying a cheerful Hi to my wonderful and diverse network at a time we’re being challenged in ways we’ve never known before!

At the time of writing this blog, we’re faced with a global pandemic and by now, have had at least two weeks of “trying” to make sense of our new reality, but are we there yet?

In an attempt to stay connected when we’re having to socially distance from each other, I’m starting a new vlog series. Something that I’m not hugely comfortable with, but to grow, one needs to step outside one’s comfort zone, right? 😉

Also, I’m being driven by a bigger purpose of providing a safe space for my audience to voice their fears and concerns. To stay connected and optimistic. My purpose in producing this vlog is to give you a chance to voice “your story” regardless of the camp you fall into and see how you wish to be supported.

This post is inspired by one of my favourite authors, Brene Brown. When she’s in conflict with her husband, she starts her dialogue by “my story is…”

This allows her the opportunity to be open and honest about how her thoughts are creating certain feelings about a particular situation, and how she’s narrating “her story”. She’ll often find that her husband has given a different meaning to the course of events, and therefore “his story” is different.

Proof that we interpret the same situation differently, according to our preferences, our installed filters and previous experiences which have shaped us as we are. By respectfully listening to each other’s stories, we feel seen, heard and understood. In that safe environment, we get a sense of connection, acceptance and belonging. We get to strategise and think of solutions to our problems.

So, what’s your story? Are you panic stricken, slightly anxious, heavy hearted, fear the unknown, bored because you’ve been furloughed and feel lost, or have you made peace with your new reality and are getting on with it? Or something entirely different? There are no right or wrong answers by the way. How you’re feeling at the moment is very real to you and you deserve to be believed.

Are you half full or half empty? What are your thoughts and what are the emotions and stories you’re attaching to those thought? What’s your story? Let’s talk and make sense of this madness together…

Love and strong coffee
Vafa

How Do You Cope In Times Of Adversity?

Happy New Year ✨🥂✨

2019 threw me so many curved balls that I now feel, I can rise in the face of adversity and win hands down. No matter what cards I’m dealt!

EVERY TIME I thought things were going my way, the universe tested my patience and resilience. But you know something? The universe forgot I was a war child and I’ve faced what many of my peers couldn’t even imagine as their worst nightmare.

I’m not saying I was ready to attack the challenges face on immediately. And I’m not saying I didn’t feel scared, hurt and angry at times. And there were times I crawled back into my shell and wished I could hibernate for a season like my favourite nocturnal creatures, the hedgehogs. But my beautiful and emotionally intelligent boy, and the undying support of my very close network of friends and family got me going. Not forgetting my gorgeous and incredibly talented accountability buddies who guided me out of the potholes I found myself in.

I decided to acknowledge the pain, rather than bury and ignore it like I used to. I found strategies around dealing with the unrest and the uncertainty. For me, this was in the form of taking long walks, reading, and having pow wows with my buddies to check my sanity. Until I found solutions to the many challenges I faced. ONE CHALLENGE AT A TIME…

I’m curious…. How do you deal with the serious, surprise life challenges that are thrown your way? Are you aware of the immense guilt and the shame you feel in those situations as I did? And do they stop you from reaching out and seeking different perspectives?

Here’s to believing in ourselves and the hidden powers within us more… In the famous words of one of my favourite poets, Hafez:

“You have in your soul, every ingredient necessary to turn your existence into joy. All you have to do is to mix your ingredients”

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

“Find Your IKIGAI…”

That’s what I kept being reminded by my mentor during our 1-2-1 sessions. Back when I was trying to find a new path in the exciting playground of business ownership. I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny and gain the work life balance I wanted.

I had met him years ago during my “explorer” years. He’d been a part of my journey of Personal Revolution from the early days. I presented new business ideas to him every time we met; usually once every six months or so when I visited yet another business show.

So, what is this IKIGAI my mentor kept asking me to find? According to the fountain of all knowledge, aka Wikipedia:

“IKIGAI is a Japanese concept that means a reason for being. The word IKIGAIis usually used to indicate the source of value in one’s life or the things that make one’s life worthwhile. The word translated to English roughly means, things that you live for or the reason for which you wake up in the morning”

My quest to find a new vocation was to gain personal freedom. To spend quality time with my son during his long school holidays. To return some much needed passion and vitality back into my life.

I had spent a quarter of a century in a career that had been rewarding for many years, but had recently plateaued. It wasn’t leaving me fulfilled anymore (I can’t believe I’m that old!). The aspects of the job I had most loved were training and mentoring students and young professionals.

I had all the essential ingredients for a start-up business owner. I was passionate, resilient, determined and open minded about all opportunities that presented themselves to me. I knew my strength was in building human connections and I adored investing in my personal development.

I’d been a fan of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and a follower of Tony Robins since the early 90s, and I was passionate about helping people achieve the best version of themselves. So when an opportunity presented itself to obtain a diploma in NLP and coaching, I didn’t hesitate. I knew I’d have the best tools to help people in realising their own journeys of personal revolution.

I love how Tim Tamashiro likens IKIGAI to a “treasure map with four directions” in his TEDx talk. It’s basically a cross section of 4 simple questions:

What you LOVE doing
What you’re GOOD at doing
What the WORLD NEEDS
What you can get PAID FOR

It’s more about finding a vocation that yields results than finding a job that pays the mortgage. It’s about fulfilling your heart’s desires. Your life’s purpose and discovering a more meaningful you, where you do the things that really matter to you. It’s about feeling useful and therefore having a reason to live for.

One interesting fact I came across in my research was that there are more centurions in Okinawa where the concept of IKIGAI stemmed from, than anywhere else in the world. That’s partly due to their diet, and partly due to the fact that they have a sense of purpose in their lives. A feeling of being valuable in society due to their adopted roles and responsibilities.

Do you want to know something interesting? It just happens that I was looking for my IKIGAI when I became an explorer and started my wonderful journey of Personal Revolution. Except I didn’t yet know that the Japanese had summed it up with this one beautiful word… IKIGAI.

Have you started the search for your IKIGAI and your own Personal Revolution? If not, what are you waiting for? Call me and let’s start exploring what your life’s purpose is and how to get you there… ✨✨✨

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

The Super Power of Human Connections

It’s under a week till The London Business Show opens its doors to inspirational speakers, hopeful exhibitors, and wondering adventurers. And I for one, cannot wait for another fabulous two days of touching base with existing connections and making new ones.

This forum was amongst the first, when I started my Personal Revolution journey some four years ago. I had reached a stage in life where I needed more out of work and life. But I didn’t even know how to go about getting it.

That’s when I became an adventurer. On first entry to the exhibition hall, I felt a huge sense of overwhelm. I was supposed to meet my friend there, but she had an emergency come up and couldn’t make it. So I took a deep breath and I walked in with a big smile.

I was amazed at how easy it was to engage with the exhibitors and the speakers. Most of them were happy to offer information and guidance when I asked for it. Some of those individuals went on to become much valued mentors. They are still my go to people when I need guidance and support.

I couldn’t believe the kind of conversations I ended up having with co-explorers who returned my smile with a smile and shared their story over coffee and lunch. Some of those became friends and accountability buddies.

And that in essence is the power of networking in a positive forum; where we can invest in our personal development, building our valuable network. And of course remember the utterly sweet power of serendipity, not to mention credibility by association. How knowing one influential person can lead you to having some of your biggest champions and mentors in turn.

I’ve had the pleasure of being engulfed in a kind of support which money can’t buy by some phenomenal entrepreneurs. All because I plucked up the courage to enter an arena that was alien to me. I was willing to become a student all over again and learn from some of the best. I stepped well and truly outside my comfort zone when I entered that arena. Today, I reap the rewards of the discomfort I felt at the time.

In light of all the love and support I’ve received unconditionally, I’d love to give back and share the love. If you are looking to start your own journey of personal revolution and are going to the business show, send me a PM and we’ll catch up over a cuppa.

I’m happy to see how I can help you, or connect you with someone who can. If you’re not going to the business show, let’s organise a video call and see how I can support you. Please feel free to like, share and comment if you think your network would benefit from this post. Send me a private message if I can be of any service to you.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa