Stay True To Yourself, values, core values, life coach, Basingstoke, Vafa Taleban, vip seminar

Stay True To Yourself

 
 
Stay True To Yourself
 
 

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.”
Roy T. Bennett

 

A conversation I had yesterday morning with mini me over breakfast about staying true to yourself prompted me to think back to one of the most instrumental a-ha monuments in my life.

Three years ago yesterday, I was driving back from college, reflecting back on the feedback I’d received from my peers.

After a few co-coaching sessions over the entire weekend, the feedback from the said peers was unanimous! I knew very clearly what my values were.

“But doesn’t EVERYONE know what their values are?” I asked as we came together as a group 

Later that evening, I’m in the car driving back after a weekend of new learnings and insights and suddenly… Ping! I sense a penny drop moment!

“That’s the reason I dislike work so much! I’m ‘having to’ operate outside of my core values EVERY single day!” I said to myself.

And I realised at that moment that my life choices, although thought of and indeed encouraged as ‘normal’ by our society, had been hindering my happiness, fulfilment, growth.

The clarity I gained on the drive home that night was a major catalyst for change.

Perhaps, that’s the reason core values and the benefit of knowing what yours are, are a major discussion point at the ‘VIP’ seminars.

Knowing your core values will prompt you to invest in your self-care and live a life of ease and harmony because the choices you make provide you with clarity of direction.

✨When you live your life according to your core values, you live your truth. You’re unapologetic about showing up as you are and making a stand for what matters to you.

❓Are you living according to your core values?
❓Do you even know what they are?
❓How do you sense your life changing for the better when you begin to live life congruently to your core values?

🌱Curious to explore your core values? Drop me a message 👇🏼

 
 

Love & strong coffee

Vafa Taleban VIP Seminar Values Identity Purpose Personal Revolution authenticity

The Power Of Regret

 
 
The Power Of Regret
 
 
What’s your relationship with the word ‘regret’?
 
I’ve been enjoying reading and reflecting on Dan Pink’s new book ‘The Power of Regret’ in the last week.  The title had me intrigued and as I’d enjoyed books by Dan Pink previously, I delved in whilst wondering if I would put the words ‘power’ and ‘regret’ in the same sentence…
 
 
Don’t get me wrong!  There are PLENTY of ‘things’ I would have loved to do differently, (notice how I can’t bring myself to use the ‘R’ word) but hindsight is… well exactly that!  Hindsight!
 
 
And although I look back often, I don’t view my mistakes as regrets, but instead, look at them in terms of lessons learned.
 
 
I suspect it’s because the word ‘regret’ has always held a negative connotation for me. ‘My story’ is that without having made ‘those’ mistakes, I wouldn’t be who I am and neither would I be here, and I clearly love being ‘here’, having created my current reality that was once a dream!
 
 
Dan put ‘regrets’ in four different categories, one of which is ‘boldness’ regrets.  He writes, boldness regrets are often about exploration.  According to the responses he had to the surveys he conducted, some of the most significant explorations are ‘inward’.
He asserts furthermore, that AUTHENTICITY requires BOLDNESS and when authenticity is supported, so is GROWTH.
 
 
The most telling demonstration of this point came from several dozen people from all over the world who described their regret, their failure to be bold, with the same five words…
 

“NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF” he writes!

 
I found it most interesting to read that people who asserted their identity, rarely regretted it EVEN when those identities went counter to the dominant culture! People who suppressed their identity talked about denying themselves of the potential to live fully…
 
 
This body of work is so close to my heart and a huge part of the work I do with individuals and seminar participants.
 
 
Raising your awareness of your values and identity creates the desire to live a more authentic life where you are motivated to create a new forward direction in reaching your outcomes.  This is a point that’s raised by almost every participant to my ‘VIP’ Seminar.
 
 
Without motivation and clarity of direction, one is likely to go round and round the same circle, ‘wishing’ life was different instead of ‘knowing’ what the next steps are.  Does that resonate with you?
One big takeaway from this book was that…
 

PEOPLE HAVE MORE REGRETS ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO THAN THE THINGS THEY DID DO!

 
Reading this book has changed my relationship with the word regret.  It’s also reiterated the power of having the boldness, the courage to stand for who we are and what we love doing and perusing it unapologetically. EVEN when it’s counter to the dominant culture and environment we exist within.  Afterall, we’re more likely to regret the actions we didn’t take, than the ones we did!
 
 
If you would like to explore your values, your Identity and your Purpose so you live a more fulfilled life, get in touch with me. The next VIP seminar is on Saturday, April 2nd and it’s almost at full capacity.
 
 
Let’s connect when you’re ready to step into your authenticity. 
 
 
You only get one life. You so deserve to get the life you wish for.
 
 
Love & Strong Coffee
 
Vafa

 

Vafa Taleban, Personal development, VIP Seminar

What’s The Fuss About Personal Development?

 
 
What’s The Fuss About Personal Development?
 
 
RIP Bob Proctor, the author of ‘You Were Born Rich’
 
 
You may have wondered what the fuss about personal development is at some point or another, especially if it’s not something you’re inclined to invest in.  
 
 
As a lover of personal development, I was saddened to read about the passing of this legend and thought I’d give a brief account of his journey with the intention of inspiring those who may be intrigued about personal development.
 
 
One of the attendees to my last Saturday’s ’VIP’ seminar who is new to personal development commented at the end of the day ‘I now know what the fuss is about”. But that’s a story for another time…
 
 
Bob Proctor is one of the best known personal development ‘gurus’ and content creators of our time.  Growing up, Proctor had a poor self-image and was a college drop out with no great future ambitions.
 

And then…

 
He met someone who introduced him to Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think And Grow Rich’. This was reported to be the first book he ever read! As first books go, he couldn’t have read a better one, as most of the personal development lovers would acknowledge!
 
 
And from there on, his life took a turn for the better and he went on to accomplish what might have seemed like an unachievable dream to an ordinary person. To many, he became extraordinary.
 
 
He wrote a New York Times best-selling book, became an influencer and contributed to the film ‘The Secret’. He believed that a positive self-image & programming was critical in obtaining success.
 
 
The point of this ‘story’ is to highlight the importance and the impact that ongoing personal development has on our lives.
 
 
All of us have the capacity to become extraordinary. The difference between those who achieve their dreams and those who don’t, is the ‘beliefs’ people have about their own abilities, the intentions they set and the lengths they go to, to give their ideas a tangible form.
 
 
Next time you’re wondering if ‘you can’, pay attention to ‘the story’ you’re telling yourself…
 
 
As Proctor said , thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hands.
 
 
Are you ready to start your personal development journey? Drop me a message if so and watch out for the next ‘VIP’ seminar, coming soon.
 
Let’s connect when you’re ready to invest in your personal development.
 
 
You only get one life. You so deserve to get the life you wish for.
 
 
Love & Strong Coffee
 
Vafa

 

How Do You Colour?

 

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

Albert Einstein

When was the last time you coloured outside the lines?   I mean, when was the last time you pushed outside of your comfortable boundaries?

I’ve been colouring outside the lines for a number of years now.  It all started when I began to challenge my beliefs and values that were deeply ingrained.

And when lockdown was imposed, I wanted to stay connected with my network.  So I decided to become visible on social media and started doing videos.  Something I had shied away from, partly because of my limiting beliefs of not being able to do a good enough job!

Not only I’ve grown used to sharing my views on video, I’ve been able to help many people who contacted me.   I’ve also been invited on fb and IG lives to share insights.  So, I’d say that I’ve fulfilled my purpose of providing a safe space for my audience to talk and make sense of their stories.   It just goes to show that good stuff happen when you step outside your comfort zone.  

I often challenge my clients on their limiting beliefs by asking them to “imagine” how they would be if they were less afraid?  It’s only by exploring different experiences that we build new habits.  Who knows what great opportunities you may stumble upon if you chose to be different!

So I’m curious; how are you building new habits during these times?

What have you done differently that you couldn’t imagine doing before lockdown, and how have you felt about your new experiences?

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

How Do You Define Yourself?

 

“Identity cannot be found or fabricated, but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go” Doug Cooper

Today’s vlog is on the topic of identity.  Who are you and how do you define yourself?  Do you define yourself by the job you have, the role/roles you play?  Or do you define yourself by who you are in your core, the values you hold dear, and what your bigger purpose is?   Can you honestly say that you created your identity?

I often come across clients who are living life according to the values they’ve learnt to abide by.  These values are shaped by the upbringing they had and how their physical and emotional needs were met by their care givers.  How they were influenced by teachers, peer groups, work environments, religious leaders, and even the sports they played and sport’s teams they supported.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve spoken to so many people who feel lost, overwhelmed and angry.  Because they feel out of control, they’ve lost their jobs or have been furloughed and simply don’t know what to do.  Their identity was so intertwined with the job title they had, that without the job, they have lost their identity!

If this resonates with you, have you considered using this time to your best advantage and getting to know the real you?

When was the last time you thought about your values, and whether or not they’re congruent with your identity and your lifestyle?

As a first step, consider what your answer will be next time someone asks you “what do you do’?  Remember…  You are waaay more than your job title.

I’d love to hear from you and how you’re making the most of a bad situation? I’m happy to have a conversation if you’d like to make sense of your story.

 

Love and strong coffee

Vafa