Stay True To Yourself

Stay True To Yourself

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.”
Roy T. Bennett

A conversation I had yesterday morning with mini me over breakfast about staying true to yourself prompted me to think back to one of the most instrumental a-ha monuments in my life.

Three years ago yesterday, I was driving back from college, reflecting back on the feedback I’d received from my peers.

After a few co-coaching sessions over the entire weekend, the feedback from the said peers was unanimous! I knew very clearly what my values were.

“But doesn’t EVERYONE know what their values are?” I asked as we came together as a group

Later that evening, I’m in the car driving back after a weekend of new learnings and insights and suddenly… Ping! I sense a penny drop moment!

“That’s the reason I dislike work so much! I’m ‘having to’ operate outside of my core values EVERY single day!” I said to myself.

And I realised at that moment that my life choices, although thought of and indeed encouraged as ‘normal’ by our society, had been hindering my happiness, fulfilment, growth.

The clarity I gained on the drive home that night was a major catalyst for change.

Perhaps, that’s the reason core values and the benefit of knowing what yours are, are a major discussion point at the ‘VIP’ seminars.

Knowing your core values will prompt you to invest in your self-care and live a life of ease and harmony because the choices you make provide you with clarity of direction.

✨When you live your life according to your core values, you live your truth. You’re unapologetic about showing up as you are and making a stand for what matters to you.

❓Are you living according to your core values?
❓Do you even know what they are?
❓How do you sense your life changing for the better when you begin to live life congruently to your core values?

🌱Curious to explore your core values? Drop me a message 👇🏼

Love & strong coffee

The Power Of Regret

The Power Of Regret

What’s your relationship with the word ‘regret’?

I’ve been enjoying reading and reflecting on Dan Pink’s new book ‘The Power of Regret’ in the last week. The title had me intrigued and as I’d enjoyed books by Dan Pink previously, I delved in whilst wondering if I would put the words ‘power’ and ‘regret’ in the same sentence…

Don’t get me wrong! There are PLENTY of ‘things’ I would have loved to do differently, (notice how I can’t bring myself to use the ‘R’ word) but hindsight is… well exactly that! Hindsight!

And although I look back often, I don’t view my mistakes as regrets, but instead, look at them in terms of lessons learned.

I suspect it’s because the word ‘regret’ has always held a negative connotation for me. ‘My story’ is that without having made ‘those’ mistakes, I wouldn’t be who I am and neither would I be here, and I clearly love being ‘here’, having created my current reality that was once a dream!

Dan put ‘regrets’ in four different categories, one of which is ‘boldness’ regrets. He writes, boldness regrets are often about exploration. According to the responses he had to the surveys he conducted, some of the most significant explorations are ‘inward’.

He asserts furthermore, that AUTHENTICITY requires BOLDNESS and when authenticity is supported, so is GROWTH.

The most telling demonstration of this point came from several dozen people from all over the world who described their regret, their failure to be bold, with the same five words…

“NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF” he writes!

I found it most interesting to read that people who asserted their identity, rarely regretted it EVEN when those identities went counter to the dominant culture! People who suppressed their identity talked about denying themselves of the potential to live fully…

This body of work is so close to my heart and a huge part of the work I do with individuals and seminar participants.

Raising your awareness of your values and identity creates the desire to live a more authentic life where you are motivated to create a new forward direction in reaching your outcomes. This is a point that’s raised by almost every participant to my ‘VIP’ Seminar.

Without motivation and clarity of direction, one is likely to go round and round the same circle, ‘wishing’ life was different instead of ‘knowing’ what the next steps are. Does that resonate with you?

One big takeaway from this book was that…

PEOPLE HAVE MORE REGRETS ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO THAN THE THINGS THEY DID DO!

Reading this book has changed my relationship with the word regret. It’s also reiterated the power of having the boldness, the courage to stand for who we are and what we love doing and perusing it unapologetically. EVEN when it’s counter to the dominant culture and environment we exist within. Afterall, we’re more likely to regret the actions we didn’t take, than the ones we did!

If you would like to explore your values, your Identity and your Purpose so you live a more fulfilled life, get in touch with me. The next VIP seminar is on Saturday, April 2nd and it’s almost at full capacity.

Let’s connect when you’re ready to step into your authenticity.

You only get one life. You so deserve to get the life you wish for.

Love & Strong Coffee

Vafa

Allow space to reflect

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl

I often ask my clients to

Stop

Breathe

Connect to their body

Reflect

Respond or evaluate!

So, this afternoon as I allow space to reflect and evaluate whilst working in my garden, I’m treating myself to a mini-version of the afternoon tea I so often took for granted BC (Before Covid).

On this beautiful Friday afternoon I’m grateful for the courageous steps I took to an uncertain world. “What’s the worse that could happen” was the mantra that kept me focused.

I’m also grateful for the team that supported me in my hour of need; although not always the ones I had counted on, but that’s how we get to know who our real friends are!

So, why write this post?

This post was inspired by listening to the radio interview I had with the lovely Zeenat Noorani in which I spoke about my Personal Revolution journey.

Realising what I have now, seemed like a dream 5 years ago. It is about looking back, only to see, and be grateful for how far I’ve come.

It’s purely to encourage and inspire those of you who are feeling ‘lost, numb, stuck, demotivated, unloved, lonely or whatever definition you give to a sense of stagnation and unfulfillment’ to spring into action. Those of you who need a different path, or a new perspective.

If I could do it, so can you! There’s a huge amount of value in giving yourself the permission to allow space to reflect. That’s when you can connect with yourself and make a genuine inquiry as to what it is you want out of life. That’s when you get a chance to be creative and dream…

It’s good to have a dream. How are you going to make that dream come true? How will you get to live the life you want and deserve? Who’s got your back?

Call me if you need listening ears

You only get one life and you deserve to get the life you wish for. As R. Buckminster Fuller reminds us, “The minute you choose to do what you really want to do, it’s a different kind of life.”

Love & Strong Coffee

Vafa

Get The Life You Wish For

“Get The Life You Wish For”… I so often heard the voice inside my head say this phrase. Especially when I came face to face with situations that put me at a cross roads where my values were being tested. Then I came across this passage from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek. Own the fear, find the cave and write a new inning for yourself. For the people you’re meant to serve and support and for your culture. Choose courage over comfort, choose whole hearts over armour and choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid at the exact same time.”

If you’re looking for what’s missing in your life or in need of new direction, if you’re defined by the measures of success that someone else has imposed on you or if you’re feeling guilty for wanting more, then please know you’re one of many who think and feel this way.

What are you doing to get the life you wish for?

I was reflecting on the time I used to wish for a better life during a graduation ceremony with a difference and congratulated myself for stepping inside the cave even though it was scary, unknown and uncomfortable.

For choosing whole hearts instead of armour, even though it deprived me from aspects of my old, secure world; and for choosing courage over comfort which scares me and makes me feel very alive every day!

Are you feeling stuck or are you living a life that makes you feel alive?

We only get one life; let’s live it on our terms

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Do Something That Scares You!

“May your choice reflect your hopes and not your fears” Nelson Mandela

How often do you do something that scares you? How often do you make decisions that reflect your hopes, your heart’s desires and your dreams, rather than let the fear of change paralyse your thinking and reasoning powers?

I’ve made so many difficult decisions in the last few years. Most of which have led to a huge personal & professional development. Some decisions haven’t been great, but even those have provided ample experiences and lessons without which I wouldn’t be who I am now.

If you don’t try, you won’t know the magic that’s within your reach, and yet so many choose to tolerate the devil they know for the fear of upsetting the status quo which doesn’t serve them well anyway! It’s keeping them stuck, unfulfilled and unhappy. Crazy, right?

Their narrative is: ‘One DAY I’ll get the life I deserve’. To which I reply: ‘would today be a good day to start?’

I love walking alongside people who are brave enough to let go of their fear and embrace change to learn, to grow and to find the magic. Do you know anyone like that?

Fun fact… Going to a music festival by myself was so outside of my comfort zone, but I decided to do it a year ago today & I loved it! I’d be there now if it wasn’t for 2020 throwing us a curved ball!

What are you choosing that reflects your hopes, not your fears? We only get one life. Let’s live the life we want and deserve, starting from today

Next time you want to do something that scares you a little, perhaps when you’d like someone to walk alongside you, give me a call…

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity?

“Do you choose courage or conformity?” I asked myself again after another difficult conversation that left me demotivated to strive for my best. Then I remembered this passage and exhaled, attempting to calm my distressed nervous system.

“It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly” T Roosevelt

This quote has been such a driver for me. Every time I thought of choosing comfort and conformity over courage in my journey of Personal Revolution…

I chose courage over comfort though; Every – Single – Day!

You know how the other quote goes. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” And it was by sharing stories and insights with some great minds that I was inspired to push through the pain and get the life I wished for.

So now, I’m on a mission to spread the nuggets of wisdom that changed my life. I’ll be doing this by chatting to some truly inspirational people.

What’s my main purpose for starting this adventure?

To help my clients of course. They often think they’re the only ones experiencing the negative emotions and feel unfulfilled. They believe they have no other choice but to carry on as they are.

With the help of my beautiful guests, I plan to inspire you to get the courage and clarity to live life on your terms. Because I think that’s key to families and workplaces becoming happier, more connected places.

So watch out for my “Inspiring Courage” video series next week. I’m so looking forward to hearing my guests’ favourite quotes and the lessons they’ve learnt. And what the success factors were in them moving forward when they faced the same question I did time and again; “Do You Choose Courage Or Conformity?”

If you know of anyone who’d like to share their inspirational nuggets of wisdom, please drop me a line.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.” Roy T. Bennett

“NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF” he writes!

PEOPLE HAVE MORE REGRETS ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO THAN THE THINGS THEY DID DO!

Allow space to reflect

So, why write this post?

What’s my main purpose for starting this adventure?

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.”
Roy T. Bennett