Stay True To Yourself

Stay True To Yourself

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.”
Roy T. Bennett

A conversation I had yesterday morning with mini me over breakfast about staying true to yourself prompted me to think back to one of the most instrumental a-ha monuments in my life.

Three years ago yesterday, I was driving back from college, reflecting back on the feedback I’d received from my peers.

After a few co-coaching sessions over the entire weekend, the feedback from the said peers was unanimous! I knew very clearly what my values were.

“But doesn’t EVERYONE know what their values are?” I asked as we came together as a group

Later that evening, I’m in the car driving back after a weekend of new learnings and insights and suddenly… Ping! I sense a penny drop moment!

“That’s the reason I dislike work so much! I’m ‘having to’ operate outside of my core values EVERY single day!” I said to myself.

And I realised at that moment that my life choices, although thought of and indeed encouraged as ‘normal’ by our society, had been hindering my happiness, fulfilment, growth.

The clarity I gained on the drive home that night was a major catalyst for change.

Perhaps, that’s the reason core values and the benefit of knowing what yours are, are a major discussion point at the ‘VIP’ seminars.

Knowing your core values will prompt you to invest in your self-care and live a life of ease and harmony because the choices you make provide you with clarity of direction.

✨When you live your life according to your core values, you live your truth. You’re unapologetic about showing up as you are and making a stand for what matters to you.

❓Are you living according to your core values?
❓Do you even know what they are?
❓How do you sense your life changing for the better when you begin to live life congruently to your core values?

🌱Curious to explore your core values? Drop me a message 👇🏼

Love & strong coffee

The Power Of Regret

The Power Of Regret

What’s your relationship with the word ‘regret’?

I’ve been enjoying reading and reflecting on Dan Pink’s new book ‘The Power of Regret’ in the last week. The title had me intrigued and as I’d enjoyed books by Dan Pink previously, I delved in whilst wondering if I would put the words ‘power’ and ‘regret’ in the same sentence…

Don’t get me wrong! There are PLENTY of ‘things’ I would have loved to do differently, (notice how I can’t bring myself to use the ‘R’ word) but hindsight is… well exactly that! Hindsight!

And although I look back often, I don’t view my mistakes as regrets, but instead, look at them in terms of lessons learned.

I suspect it’s because the word ‘regret’ has always held a negative connotation for me. ‘My story’ is that without having made ‘those’ mistakes, I wouldn’t be who I am and neither would I be here, and I clearly love being ‘here’, having created my current reality that was once a dream!

Dan put ‘regrets’ in four different categories, one of which is ‘boldness’ regrets. He writes, boldness regrets are often about exploration. According to the responses he had to the surveys he conducted, some of the most significant explorations are ‘inward’.

He asserts furthermore, that AUTHENTICITY requires BOLDNESS and when authenticity is supported, so is GROWTH.

The most telling demonstration of this point came from several dozen people from all over the world who described their regret, their failure to be bold, with the same five words…

“NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF” he writes!

I found it most interesting to read that people who asserted their identity, rarely regretted it EVEN when those identities went counter to the dominant culture! People who suppressed their identity talked about denying themselves of the potential to live fully…

This body of work is so close to my heart and a huge part of the work I do with individuals and seminar participants.

Raising your awareness of your values and identity creates the desire to live a more authentic life where you are motivated to create a new forward direction in reaching your outcomes. This is a point that’s raised by almost every participant to my ‘VIP’ Seminar.

Without motivation and clarity of direction, one is likely to go round and round the same circle, ‘wishing’ life was different instead of ‘knowing’ what the next steps are. Does that resonate with you?

One big takeaway from this book was that…

PEOPLE HAVE MORE REGRETS ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO THAN THE THINGS THEY DID DO!

Reading this book has changed my relationship with the word regret. It’s also reiterated the power of having the boldness, the courage to stand for who we are and what we love doing and perusing it unapologetically. EVEN when it’s counter to the dominant culture and environment we exist within. Afterall, we’re more likely to regret the actions we didn’t take, than the ones we did!

If you would like to explore your values, your Identity and your Purpose so you live a more fulfilled life, get in touch with me. The next VIP seminar is on Saturday, April 2nd and it’s almost at full capacity.

Let’s connect when you’re ready to step into your authenticity.

You only get one life. You so deserve to get the life you wish for.

Love & Strong Coffee

Vafa

What’s The Fuss About Personal Development?

What’s The Fuss About Personal Development?

RIP Bob Proctor, the author of ‘You Were Born Rich’

You may have wondered what the fuss about personal development is at some point or another, especially if it’s not something you’re inclined to invest in.

As a lover of personal development, I was saddened to read about the passing of this legend and thought I’d give a brief account of his journey with the intention of inspiring those who may be intrigued about personal development.

One of the attendees to my last Saturday’s ’VIP’ seminar who is new to personal development commented at the end of the day ‘I now know what the fuss is about”. But that’s a story for another time…

Bob Proctor is one of the best known personal development ‘gurus’ and content creators of our time. Growing up, Proctor had a poor self-image and was a college drop out with no great future ambitions.

And then…

He met someone who introduced him to Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think And Grow Rich’. This was reported to be the first book he ever read! As first books go, he couldn’t have read a better one, as most of the personal development lovers would acknowledge!

And from there on, his life took a turn for the better and he went on to accomplish what might have seemed like an unachievable dream to an ordinary person. To many, he became extraordinary.

He wrote a New York Times best-selling book, became an influencer and contributed to the film ‘The Secret’. He believed that a positive self-image & programming was critical in obtaining success.

The point of this ‘story’ is to highlight the importance and the impact that ongoing personal development has on our lives.

All of us have the capacity to become extraordinary. The difference between those who achieve their dreams and those who don’t, is the ‘beliefs’ people have about their own abilities, the intentions they set and the lengths they go to, to give their ideas a tangible form.

Next time you’re wondering if ‘you can’, pay attention to ‘the story’ you’re telling yourself…

As Proctor said , thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hands.

Are you ready to start your personal development journey? Drop me a message if so and watch out for the next ‘VIP’ seminar, coming soon.

Let’s connect when you’re ready to invest in your personal development.

You only get one life. You so deserve to get the life you wish for.

Love & Strong Coffee

Vafa

Reset your life

Reset your life

There’s never been a better time to step back, take stock, and reflect on your story so far. To reset your life.

If it’s not reading how you want it to, make a change! Seek a new perspective on life and be the author of your own story moving forwards.

The world we live in is going through a major reset! Now is the perfect time for you to reset your life too, so you create a life that’s more on your terms.

Are you at a crossroads and can’t see the wood for the trees?

Do you know in your core, that there is more to life than this?

Have you ever wondered how much of your life you spend on autopilot?

Have you achieved everything your idealistic self has wanted to achieve to date, and yet you feel unfulfilled?

Is there a nagging voice inside of you saying, “ONE DAY I will do what I really LOVE to do?”

Has the right time never come so every day feels like ground hog day?

If any of this resonates, then this luxury retreat is for you. Let’s have a conversation. Call me or drop me a message and I will call you back.

Love & Strong Coffee

Vafa

Zigzag Trail Of Life

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Joseph Campbell

I came across this zigzag trail of beautifully hand painted stones on my walk earlier today. It depicted the path I’ve travelled on for the last few years. When I decided to throw myself into being an explorer whole-heartedly, I didn’t realise how many zigzags I’d face!

There were times when I faced so many obstacles that all I wanted to do was to hibernate like my favourite creatures, the hedgehogs. But that wasn’t an option. I had stepped beyond the point of no return and there was no looking back. And I soon learned that the more challenges I took on, the easier the decision to take more challenges became. It was as if I was building a new muscle I didn’t know I had!

Every time I faced another puzzle on my zigzag trail and decided to tackle it like my life depended on it, I found a hidden strength or a forgotten resource I hadn’t thought of before. Very often, a new mentor appeared on my path; literally from nowhere!

I persevered until I found my new path. My current reality. A reality that’s aligned with who I am, what I stand for and what I won’t tolerate. A reality that’s congruent to my core values.

And I found myself being the mentor for a younger version of me today. Someone who described what he was experiencing, and he took me back a few years. He showed vulnerability in sharing his story and found someone who’d been there. Exactly what I did back when I became an explorer. Who knows who this young man will inspire and mentor a few years down the line?

When the status quo isn’t leaving you fulfilled, what do you do?

When the call to adventure comes, you have two options:

💥You either choose courage and follow that call. When you do, you will connect with who you really are and what you stand for. You will sense a kind of ease and freedom in living your everyday life. You will become a better version of yourself and become more attractive inside and out.

💥Or you choose comfort and conformity and numb the pain by finding distractions in the form of work, food, alcohol and material possessions. You can be sure that you’re doing exactly as others want you to, and that you’re pleasing everyone else, but yourself.

If you choose courage, be warned! The path to finding fulfilment is not a straight one!

Finding this path isn’t for the faint hearted! Only enter if you’re willing to:

become an explorer
have your deep-rooted beliefs challenged
step outside your comfort zone
let go of certainty
trust your intuition
get out of your head and reconnect with your body
have the courage to let go of your perceived security which in-fact is keeping you stuck!
And most importantly…. Enter this path only if you trust yourself and are willing to trust the process…

If you’re wondering about the process, reach out and I’ll explain.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa x

You’re Never Too Old To Dream

“If you can dream it, you can do it.” Walt Disney

I Found this beautiful stone amongst hundreds laid out on my walk today and I thought of the e-mail I received from a client recently.

“Thank you for helping me give myself permission to dream again” he wrote.

The email gave me a warm fuzzy feeling on one level! It reiterated the reasons I love doing what I do.

It also saddened me… At exactly what point in our life, do we remove the permission for ourselves to dream?

Have you ever considered how much of a more free and fulfilled life you would lead if you believed in your dreams and took steps towards fulfilling them?

What sort of a message are you sending your children when you tolerate a mediocre existence and regularly sacrifice on who you want to be and how you’d like to live?

Yes; trust me… they know how you show up! They’re more perceptive than you give them credit for!

Please remember, you’re never too old to dream new dreams…

Just imagine… What would it mean to you to live the life of your dreams?

Curious to explore this further?

Call me if you like my style, and if not, there are plenty more coaches out there whom you may like better.

But please invest time in yourself and pursue your dreams. Because when you do, it’s a different kinda life you’ll be leading. You only get one life and it so deserves to be lived well

Love and strong coffee

Vafa x

Have You Found Your Tribe?

“Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to, but tell it. Some won’t understand it. Some will outright reject it, but many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one, voices will start whispering, ‘Me, too’! And your tribe will gather and you will never feel alone again”. L.R. Knost

My story today, on Monday June 1st is that I did the first school run in 10 weeks as mini me decided to return to school.

Also, I felt judged today, but decided not to let it in! And instead, I’m sharing my thoughts and seeking yours.

I don’t profess to be social media savvy; in fact, in truth, I didn’t particularly have a huge digital footprint because I had led quite a private life online till before lockdown.

Networking for me, was about meeting and getting to know people on a deep human level, and deciding who was to be a part of “my tribe”. That’s how I found my clients, my favourite networkers and even friends.

With lockdown, I had to think outside the box and started talking about my passion and purpose, storytelling and connecting on video. It was an experiment, but one I’m happy I conducted. Because as mini me says, “practice makes permanent, not perfect; because there’s no such thing as perfect!”

And I found my online tribe. I’m not polished, but I speak from the heart.

I’m curious, have you found your tribe? Do you put more value on how professional a vlog is or on the content it delivers?

Let me know your thoughts…

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

How Do You Define Yourself?

“Identity cannot be found or fabricated, but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go” Doug Cooper

Today’s vlog is on the topic of identity. Who are you and how do you define yourself? Do you define yourself by the job you have, the role/roles you play? Or do you define yourself by who you are in your core, the values you hold dear, and what your bigger purpose is? Can you honestly say that you created your identity?

I often come across clients who are living life according to the values they’ve learnt to abide by. These values are shaped by the upbringing they had and how their physical and emotional needs were met by their care givers. How they were influenced by teachers, peer groups, work environments, religious leaders, and even the sports they played and sport’s teams they supported.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve spoken to so many people who feel lost, overwhelmed and angry. Because they feel out of control, they’ve lost their jobs or have been furloughed and simply don’t know what to do. Their identity was so intertwined with the job title they had, that without the job, they have lost their identity!

If this resonates with you, have you considered using this time to your best advantage and getting to know the real you?

When was the last time you thought about your values, and whether or not they’re congruent with your identity and your lifestyle?

As a first step, consider what your answer will be next time someone asks you “what do you do’? Remember… You are waaay more than your job title.

I’d love to hear from you and how you’re making the most of a bad situation? I’m happy to have a conversation if you’d like to make sense of your story.

Love and strong coffee

Vafa

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.” Roy T. Bennett

“NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF” he writes!

PEOPLE HAVE MORE REGRETS ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO THAN THE THINGS THEY DID DO!

And then…

When the status quo isn’t leaving you fulfilled, what do you do?

“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in, even if you stand alone.”
Roy T. Bennett